The Fart Commandments

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#1 Thu, 10/18/2012 - 16:22
Benedict Crimson's picture
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The Fart Commandments

The concept of passing gas and starting arguments over it has indeed become an integral part of our society.  Dare I say an art form?  So without further ado, here are the rules that have evolved since the golden age of kindergarten.

  1. 1.  He who smelt it, dealt it
  2. 2.  He who heard it, deserved it
  3. 3.  He who denied it, supplied it
  4. 4.  He who blamed it, claimed it
  5. 5.  He who dawned it, spawned it
  6. 6.  He who faked it, partaked it
  7. 7.  He who moaned it, owned it
  8. 8.  He who complained it, sustained it
  9. 9.  He who overruled it, fueled it
  10. 10. He who judged it, fudged it
  11. 11. He who shushed it, pushed it
  12. 12. He who sneered it, smeared it
  13. 13. He who rejected it, deflected it
  14. 14. He who whined it, dined it
  15. 15. He who speaks it, reeks it
  16. 16. He who started it, finished it (doesn’t rhyme I know, but it’s still logical)
  17. 17. He who hides it, seeks it (I did it again)
  18. 18. She who mirthed it, birthed it (can’t forget the ladies)
  19. 19, He who moved it, proved it
  20. 20, He who teased it, seized it
Fri, 10/19/2012 - 09:27
onthefritz's picture
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My youngest boy & I ressemble this.  LOL 

 

Mon, 10/22/2012 - 11:55
tehGOOSEMAN's picture
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Benedict Crimson wrote:

  1. 16. He who started it, finished it (doesn’t rhyme I know, but it’s still logical)

 

He who started it, sharted it?

Tue, 10/23/2012 - 06:55
CiaranORian's picture
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I used to get away with it by blaming my baby daughter but her capacity for producing gas is now starting to eclipse my own.

Wed, 10/24/2012 - 08:10 (Reply to #4)
CProRacing's picture
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CiaranORian wrote:

I used to get away with it by blaming my baby daughter but her capacity for producing gas is now starting to eclipse my own.

 

+1 on my 2 little ones! 21

Tue, 10/23/2012 - 11:25
Count-Fartula's picture
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Only one to follow.

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