Monday update....

First things first. Megan is getting better. She had a cold over the weekend which is why we didn't get to come home. They will absolutely not do this biopsy, if she is sick. But, she is getting better. She was up until about 10:30 last night just babbling away. It was great to hear her talk to herself. I was just laying in  my fold out bed just listening to her, and begging God to let us go home. I actually got to stay at home. Hooray you think? Well, the boys were sick with colds, so I spent most of my time taking care of them. I'm gonna be up front and honest with all of you. Stacy and I are tired. We are exhausted. I've never felt this bad before. I can't think straight. I'm having awful nightmares. I feel like I'm going to break down at any moment into a sobbing mess. Megan has been awesome during this particular stay at the hospital. But Stacy and I have been put through the ringer. Some of you may say, "Yeah, it's understandable." But, I mean to tell you, this has been a terrible week. Having her parents watch the boys was such a great thing, and now with her step dad being laid up after surgery and trying to do this on our own has been a constant struggle. I have had to work from home, which the company I work for will let me do, but they kind of frown upon it. Stacy has been staying at the hospital all day, and once I come to relive her at night, she goes home to work until midnight or 1AM. All of this to make sure we still have jobs at the end of the day. The stress and the weakness is so bad it actually shows on my face. I walked into work today and my co-worker said, "Man, you just look way too tired." First time any one has ever said that to me. Truth be told, I think we were so unprepared for all of this. We were too dependent on her parents for watching the boys and never thought about what if something should happen to them. On top of all of this, we found out some VERY disturbing news, that I can't reveal to all of you right now, due to it's personal nature. But we have been dealt a blow so horrible, that it has made us doubt our parental abilities. In other words, something has made us feel like we have been bad parents. THAT is what is making this such a struggle this time. Without getting into specifics, Stacy and I are at a loss of words and feel like someone has punched us in the stomach. Anyways, I will end my rant there. Before I get myself all worked up and upset. Take care everyone and God bless you all.



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JR