Tales of Old Man Chunky, Part 50-06. Yesterday old Man Chunky was doing some work around the house. Changing out the vent covers, for ones birds can't nest in, soldering up a 12v power cord and putting the Christmas lights that were on the back of the house back up after the roofers had to take them off. Old Man Chunky tried put the extension ladder on the ground up to the roof and the ladder just touched the eaves. "Hmm, that doesn't seem safe", he muttered to himself. OMC, then brought the ladder around to the deck which gave him around another 2' or so. He set the ladder up, gave it a shake back and forth and deemed this a much better setup. He ascended the ladder and just as he was getting to the top, the bottom legs slid out! So many thoughts went through his mind at that moment but the main one was "Get the fuck off the ladder and jump down!" As the ladder continued its slide Old Man Chunky grabbed the eaves, hopped off the ladder and swung himself down where he landed with a resounding "THUD". He looked over at the ladder which had actually been caught near the end of its slide by the BBQ. He picked himself up and right away noticed a pain in his heel.
"Fuck..." He muttered softly to himself. He looked up at the roof and the now bent eaves. Thinking to himself "That drop must have been a good 5' taken into account where I was on the ladder and my height. We used to jump off roofs higher than that all the time back in the day. Walk it off. You'll be ok." Six hours later, Mrs. Soup was taking Old Man Chunky to urgent care as his kids chuckled at his misfortune.
The doctor was astounded to hear that OMC had walked in by himself to which the crotchety old man quipped back 'The sign says 'Walk-ins Welcome' does it not?" Baa Dum Diss. The doc was not amused but continued on with her explanation that breaking ones heel almost certainly leads to a broken back. At this point Old Man Chunky's back started hurting as he was shipped of to X-Rays.
In the end, he just landed really hard and will probably be limping and in pain for a week. When you pass that 50 year threshold your ability to "Walk it off" diminishes significantly. On the plus side it's getting him out of a few chores and if it means he gets to sit in the recliners and play video games more this week OMC will take that as a consolation prize.
Why did I tell you this tale? Well mainly because its therapeutic for me but also there is really only one game coming out this week and I needed something to fill the space.
FIFA 21
Release Date: October 9th, 2020
Platforms: PC, PS4, Switch, Xbox One
Soccer, Football, Footy, The Beautiful Game - Whatever you want to call it, here is this years iteration. If you don't want to pony up the money for it right away and are or are looking at becoming an Ultimate Game Pass member on Xbox, you might be able to play for free when EA Access becomes available on Game Pass in about 5 weeks. There is a ritual that occurs when I play sports games. I turn the difficulty down to "learn the game" and just trounce the living shit out of the opposition. Then I get cocky and turn up the difficulty a notch and the game becomes a bit more challenging. I may lose a game or two here and there but I am thinking to myself " Damn, I'm getting good!" It is at that time when I turn it up just a touch more and BOOM! I get annihilated along with any sense of pride and accomplishment I may have gained along the way. At that point it goes right back down to the lowest setting and we start the cycle all over again until I get fed up and succumb to the truth that I suck at sports games.
Ride 4
Release Date: October 8th, 2020
Platforms: PC, PS4, Xbox One
You caught me. I lied. There is another game out this week. when I first read about Ride 4 it sounded like a remaster and I am so done with remasters. I then pulled up my big EIC pants and told myself to look into it.Ride 4, as you can guess by the screenshot above, is NOT a remaster but a new motorcycle racing game out this year. I used to ride way back in the day and I used to watch Moto GP and going around corners I used to lean it over and think to myself that those guys are off their rockers putting their knee down like that. I will just admire from afar. I did that for a number of years and I loved it but it came time to sell the bike and I tried filling the void with games like Ride 4 and while I am way more brave/careless with my virtual racer the outcome is likely similar. It's best to admire from afar.
