zombiekitten
Shared on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 12:14i've had two flare ups in the past few months. This one i'm in now...it's BAD. The worst i've had since well before i started the 'new, big, scary' chemo. i'm in too much pain to function. i'm too exhausted to think clearly. My brother is coming home from Hawaii for a little over a week. He's only coming home once this year. i refuse to spend that week curled up on the couch crying, and unable to do something as simple as go to lunch with him. I REFUSE! And so...i cheated.
i raised my 'regular' chemo without asking the doctor. And i increased the Prednisone, which my doctor has NO idea im taking again. i have an appointment with my doctor next week and i may just continue the charade and 'forget' to tell him about my self medicating. Because that's the same day my brother comes to spend a few days at my house.
My mother has had Lupus since i was a kid, and in some ways she's a great influence. The whole 'do not sit around and feel sorry for yourself for more than one day' rule she instilled in me was a great one. But she's a self medicator from way back. Her advice is always the same: do what makes you feel better and able to function, and deal with your doctor's anger later. So that's what i'm doing.
It's still amazing to me that there is a huge difference in how i feel, between 5mg and 7mg of prednisone . You'd think two small mgs wouldn't mean a damn thing. But they do. Trust me. i'm already feeling a little less pain and i'm DEFINITELY feeling in better spirits!
I do understand the risks of both medications. But i also have to LIVE. i have to FUNCTION. i cannot tolerate spending all of my time simply moving from the bed to the couch. i can't go night after night with no sleep, because of the pain. i'm willing to risk the side effects, and my doctor's wrath, for a week and a few days of feeing a little better.
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Comments
Submitted by wamam87 on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 12:26
Submitted by zumanity on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 13:00
Do whatever you need to do to get through. Enjoy your brother's visit & have a nice lunch.
Submitted by TANK on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 14:03
Well just be careful, you're playing toying with death. Too much chemo at once will kill you and I assume you're doing chemo to kill the cancer soyou can get back to 'normal' sometime down the road. IT would suck to have chemo kill you sooner than the cancer would have. I understand you have to do what you have to do but you're playing a high risk game with your life. Only you can know what's good for you though, so I hope it works out.
Submitted by JerryAtric on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 23:11
if youre on prednisone, please please please take some bone-reinforcing vitamins (D, calcium).
Submitted by zombiekitten on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 09:02
@ Tank...it's not cancer, it's Lupus, Scleroderma, and Sjogren's...but the risks of upping the chemo drug are high. it can cause liver failure, kidney failure, etc i was on this dose a few years ago, so i'm hoping that means i can be on this high of a dose again. i'll find out next week at my doctor's appointment.
@ Jerry...i actually forgot to get back on that stuff..THANK YOU for reminding me!! That's my doctor's main problem with me taking Prednisone: he doesn't want me to have the bones of a 90 year old when i'm 42. THANKS for the reminder!
@ everyone ...thanks for the concern, the good thoughts and all. i love this site for many reasons, including the caring people like you guys! <3