Since the beginning of time people have been gathering at each other’s homes to eat, drink and commune with their friends. When I say get together, what I mean is getting up off your ass and making a trip over to someone else’s house. You know, what people did before XBL. Way back in the days of face-to-face communication.
What did these people do when they actually got in their cars (or God forbid even walked) and traveled outside their foul smelling dark basements? Lots of things, as it turns out.
In the '50s it was cards and Elvis. In the '60s it was psychedelic drugs and Jefferson Airplane. In the '70s it was sniffing coke off a hooker’s ass and the Bee Gees. The '80s were all about showing off how big your parachute pants were, and in the '90s we just showed up with a shitload of angst to stare at each other’s flannels while listening to Nirvana. These days it’s hooking up your plastic axe, drums and mic to rock out with your buddies in the living room.
Sound like fun? You bet your ass it is.
The Plastic Rockers are here to tell you we know how to throw down a Rock Band party like nobody’s business and we’ll help you do the same. There are a few things you need to know if you want your Rock Band party to be the talk of the neighborhood and go off without a hitch.
Since you’re reading this, you probably already have your gear. You already have the games, guitars, drums, mic or everything all in one bundle. So let's skip the bullshit of going to the store and picking up the Rock Band or Guitar Hero World Tour Bundle. If you don’t have it yet, then hit up these stores for a deal. You know how to use a credit card.
If you only have one of the basic bundles, you’ll obviously need a spare guitar. We’d recommend going wireless. It’s easier to store and easier to maneuver around the living room and not create a tangle of wires amongst your guests. We’d also suggest getting the “other” guitar. That is, if you own a Rock Band guitar, pick up the Guitar Hero model and vice versa. Different folks have different preferences, and having one of each should keep your bassist from storming off the stage mid set.
After you’ve got the gear the first thing you need to get straight is that people don’t like to sing Karaoke unless they are on the way to being or already extremely drunk. This means you’ll need to pick out a theme drink for the night (margaritas for Jimmy Buffet, Jack and Coke for Slash, or Pina Coladas for Freddie Mercury) and hit up your local liquor store for mass quantities of booze. If you’re expecting guests with less enthusiastic attitudes towards all things Jim Beam, find sugar. Pixie sticks and Jolt Cola if you have to. Either way you’re going to need a bunch of mixers: Coke, Sprite, Diet Coke, Mountain Dew, Red Bull and bloody Mary mix (whatever you like). Rhythm games are always more fun with a few drinks so have fun.
Once you’ve got the liquor securely in your home and within a respectable distance of the playing area -- no one wants to walk a mile for a beer -- you need to worry about space. Remember it’s not just you in your in your skivvies playing your drums at 1 am. You are most likely going to have a full house. If you live in a mansion and have rooms you don’t even use then go fuck off, but if you are like the rest of us who have limited space, you’ll probably have to sacrifice some couches to the gods of rock. Don’t be afraid to lose some seating space in favor of more room to rock. Come on, ideally you’re going to have naked chicks throwing their panties at you when you 100% one of the solos on Foreplay [/end sarcasm].
Next, and this is very important, you need to make sure all your music works online or offline (ie, not signed in to Xbox Live). If you are like most of us, you aren’t on your original box due to the inevitable RROD and you've sent your console on vacation to the repair center down there in BumFuck Texas. If you had a bunch of songs downloaded to your hard drive for either RB or GHWT, Microsoft will transfer the license to the new Xbox. If you exchanged your defective box at a local shop on a protection plan you’ll have to do a double back flip flying heal hook off the top ropes … nah just do this and you’ll be fine. If you haven’t done the license transfer, you’ll have to be signed in to Xbox Live. You’ll also need to do this if you are just bringing your hard drive over to a buddies’ house.
Licensing all set? Good. Next thing to worry about is the skill set of the people who are attending your party. Are they a bunch of pros who play continuously, or a bunch of noobs who don’t even know what an Xbox looks like? If they are pros and you do this every week no worries, but if they are noobs you’ll want to learn about a little thing called "No Fail Mode." NFM is a great little modification the creators of Rock Band have thrown in so that even the newest or littlest of rockers can party it up with the veterans of the game without looking like a fool in front of a crowd.
NFM lets you play through any song and miss as many notes as you care to without the song ending. To find it, go to the main menu in Rock Band and select "extras," then "modify game." NFM will pop up and all you do is scroll down and hit the green button. Once you've done this it will stay on until you take it off, or you shut down your console. Beware though you can't get achievements in this mode. Also GHWT does not have a NFM.
Next, get more beer. You can never have enough beer.
Also, food – Don’t get all fancy with things like quiches and sloppy hors d'oeuvres. Just stick with the classics: chips, dips, and possibly little sandwiches you can eat on the run when you have 30 seconds in between songs on the endless set list. Remember, buffalo wings and BBQ are great until the sauce is all over your fretboard.
Don’t forget the other equipment required to play Rock Band: TVs and stereos. Playing kick ass rock ‘n’ roll on the 20” Emerson from the dorm room you had 10 years ago isn’t cool. Either get yourself a big ass TV or take this party to someone’s house who does. And while you’re at it, hook up your machine to a decent set of speakers. Using the tiny speakers in your TV won’t cut it. You should be able to feel the bass and if you can hear the click of the controllers, it’s not loud enough. You know you’ve done it right if you’re guests leave with just a slight trickle of blood coming out of their ears.
Last but not least, consider your guest list. There should be at least a couple of guys who don’t mind making complete asses of themselves. Also, you need singers. Vocals are probably the most intimidating portion of the game. If you only have one person willing to take the mic, you’re gonna find yourself rocking out without a front man after about six songs. No one likes to play the same part all night so make sure there’s a least a couple of other people willing to switch up.
That's it, people. These are the basics. There is much much more that can go into the planning of an event, but we don't have the time to get into every detail. We hope these little tidbits of information helped and your party goes off without a hitch. If you have any cool ideas for parties, or you think we've missed something essential, post them up in the comments or hit us up in our weekly thread. We would also like to see what your Rock Band party looked like, so post up a pic here.
Thanks for reading. Now here's your weekly rap up of DLC and News.
This Week's DLC
Rock Band
"New" - No Doubt
Stevie Ray Vaughn and Double Trouble Album - "Texas Flood":
"Dirty Pool"
"I'm Cryin'"
"Lenny"
"Love Struck Baby"
"Mary Had A Little Lamb"
"Pride and Joy"
"Rude Mood"
"Tell Me"
"Testify"
"Texas Flood"
Guitar Hero: World Tour
"Break It Out" - Vanilla Sky
"In The Shadows" - The Rasmus
"C'est Comme Ça" - Les Rita Mitsouko
In Other News:
The Beatles: Rock Band will be released on September 9, 2009. You can go to the official site to see a picture of the Abby Road studios and sign up for notification of when pre-ordering begins. Here's a little more about what's going down as far as pricing.
Aksys Games is jumping into the music game market with their take on the rythym genre "Rockin' Pretty". The game will be available excusivly for the Nintendo DS. According to their site the game will feature;
- A Tale of Music and Love…
A great family story of teenage proporti ons, will the girls pick love, or their love for music?!
- To Trade Or Not To Trade…
Using Nintendo DS™ wireless connecti vity, players will be able to trade items, outfits, and instruments they unlock with friends and family!
- Fame Is All You Need!
Earn your audience’s love, and watch your girl’s appearance change!
- On The Road To Stardom!
Perform your heart out at eight tour events, that range from basic
open-mic nights to stardom arena venues!
I hear Banjocut already has his preorder in.
The wireless mics for the game LIPS are going to be compatible with the upcoming Guitar Hero: Metallica game. We were told back in December that the folks at Harmonix were working on a patch to allow the mics to work with Rock Band, but in this case Neversoft has beat them to the punch. Dammit, Harmonix! Where's my patch?!
Remember a couple of weeks ago when Big0ne lemented about wanting to croon out some Styx? Well it looks like he may be one step closer to seeing that happen. According to reports, Rock Band will be sponsoring the upcoming REO Speedwagon/Styx/.38 Special Tour. Last year we saw releases from Mötley Crüe, Buckcherry and Trapt amoung others when Rock Band helped sponsor Crüe Fest. We'll have to wait and see if a future pack might include "Mr. Roboto". <fingers crossed>
