Crash of the Q and A

Snakes on the motherf@#king plane! Okay, not really, but our man of letters gives you the lowdown on the NYC plane crash and then answers a bunch of your stupid questions.

Forget everything I said in my last column about male role models.

Type a list of names from this week’s crash of an Airbus 320 into the Hudson River and start picking your favorite hero. You’ve got your choice from a crowd of people who include passengers who offered to brace their neighbor’s children during the crash, flight crew that managed to get everyone (including a passenger with two broken legs) off of the sinking plane and Jeff Kolodjay of Norwalk who stood, with his balls freezing, in a mass of vampiric reporters minutes after being fished out of the Hudson and didn’t just tell them what happened but didn’t beat any of them senseless. Of course this is why they didn’t talk to anyone from Brooklyn.

Anytime bad shit happens in NYC there’s a roll call of heroes from the NYPD. This time we get to talk about Detectives Michael Delaney and Robert Rodriguez who were in the Hudson River helping half-frozen passengers get out seven minutes after the 911 call. Forget how cold the water was, these guys jumped into the Hudson River. So in addition to treatment for hypothermia they also were getting a cocktail of injections to stave off Hep C. Also Detectives John McKenna and James Coll who commandeered a Circle Line Ferry and arrived at the scene with two other unnamed but heroic NYPD officers.

“Hey, Honey. How was work today?”

“Not bad. Had to commandeer a Circle Line Ferry and pull tourists out of the Hudson -- you know, the usual. The detectives got their names in the paper.”

Hands down though, the one name that everyone will be talking about, the guy that will be played by Bruce Willis in the movie, is Chelsey B. “Sully” Sullenberger III.

Sully wasn’t flying a “Gulfstream g650,” or a “Lockheed L1011 Tristar.” It wasn’t an F4 like he flew for the US Air Force. It was an Airbus. I’ll say it again for dramatic effect … Airbus. It doesn’t even sound like it could fly, much less touch down in the Hudson River without cartwheeling and sending passenger bits spraying all over the Paulus Hook section of Jersey City. Still, six minutes into the flight, when an effing NYC pigeon decides to strap on a vest full of C-4 and head into the plane’s left engine, Sully got it called in, disregarded his nonsensical instructions from the air traffic control tower, turned it around inside the most congested airspace in North America, gave the civilians their instructions via intercom, cleared the GW by less then 900 feet and glided an 80 ton “Airbus” to safety. He then walked the length of the plane to the strapped down drinks cart, poured himself a scotch and checked all of the seats on his way back to the emergency exit to make sure he was the last one off.

Okay, I made up the scotch part. It’s still a pretty eventful day.

The Mayor, The Governor, The President, the press corps and everyone else you can think of will be talking up Sully and lionizing his heroic deeds. You don’t need me to bestow some made up honor upon him to commemorate his bravery, professionalism, consummate skill and coolness under fire. What those others won’t tell you though that I will is this…

Sully isn’t just a hero because of the events of January 16, 2009. He is also an example to us all because of his hot wife, fitness expert and milf Lori Sullenberger.

So head on home Sully to your crazy-Tantric-yoga-relief-you-are-alive-reward-sex. I’ll be booking all my flights with US Airways from now on in the thin hope that I might get to shake your hand and say to you, “well done sir!”

Onto the Questions!
It never occurred to me write a Q&A column. This format is the result of a team effort and our desire to open up other kinds of material for the frontpage at 2o2p. Still, I took on the task in the hope that I would get to answer important questions. Questions that help define what I think of 2o2p and to talk about the changes and evolution I’ve seen since the founding of the site. Of course, that all depends on thoughtful questions and our first contributor this week never fails to make me think and grow as a writer.

Lbsutke wrote: Who has better tits? Jessica Simpson or Jennifer Love Hewitt?

Thanks for the great question, LB, and thanks for everything you do for the site!

Obviously, I don’t want to be flippant about such an important question so I’ve been considering my answer very carefully. I’ve come to the conclusion that I just don’t have enough evidence to make an intelligent, thoughtful choice. I went to the internet and researched and did find some other helpful data. Still I was undecided. So, I am turning to the 2o2p community for help. Please send me any other evidence that you feel needs consideration in this important field of study. Also, don’t feel as though these two candidates have a lock on the nomination. Ours is not necessarily a two-party system. I see no reason not open up the field to anyone else that you might be considering for the honor of “best tits.”

E-mail all nominations and supporting documentation to:

bubbas_pron_account@yahoo.com

Pain-in-the-ass-J-Cat wrote: Most of us joined 2old2play cause we were sick of playing with children and the problems they cause, the sexism, homophobic remarks and so on. Do we, as older gamers, have a responsibility as role models on how to be gracious gamers? What is the best way of handling these Timmies?

Just kidding JCat. Obviously, this was the thoughtful question I was talking about. You should all still send porn.

I know that there is a vocal group of people who if asked would say the reason they joined was because “they wanted to game with adults,” or that they were “sick and tired of the screaming and insults on XBL.” Most of these people don’t keep me on their friends list for long.

I don’t know for a fact that they constitute a majority of people who find our site, but it would be an interesting survey. I suspect that what is more likely is that through some random encounter with another gamer or on another site people learned about 2o2p and met people here whose brand of stupidity matched closely with their own and they stuck around for that reason. In other words, I was drawn to the site (and our previous online home) because of the people here, rather than pushed by the people “out there.” I’m not saying we don’t have a culture here with a strong anti-child bias. We do. Just that that was not what drew me here nor is it particularly a part of my gaming ethos.

There was a clear birthing point of this attitude, and the huge influx of members we got from Agonizing Gas’ Timmy stories is it. From that point on we always had a large group of people who blamed the negative aspects of online gaming on the age of the people participating. My experience has always been a little different than that mythical one though. I really think the target age for the center of the bad-online-behavior-bell-curve is somewhere in the 18-24 age bracket. Still, I don’t think they behave much worse than me and some of my “older” friends from 2o2p. While there are a few enclaves of “adult” behavior at 2o2p, I think there are still large numbers that embrace trash-talking, tea-bagging and team-killing. One or two sessions with the grown-ups at Saved By Grace will give you a clear idea of the distinction. I’m not here to judge anyone’s gaming style. I’m just saying that there is a large difference between the two cultures and that difference allows people to choose their style. Viva la Diversite!

As far as racism, homophobia, misogyny, sexism and other anti-social behaviors are concerned I think we have a lot of housecleaning of our own to do here before we’re qualified to lecture anyone outside of our community. It’s one thing to see these attitudes in pre-pubescent boys. It’s a lot more distressing to see it championed by people who consider you their peer. I don’t spend as much time as I have in the past policing this type of thing, so I don’t talk about it as much as I did. For the most part the mods do an awesome job keeping this type of thing from blowing up. However, if you are so inclined, take a daily walk through the off-topic forums, the blogs and the other seamier sides of our little online home and if you don’t see something that outrages you ask yourself if maybe you are not part of the problem.

I hate when people tell me how to act so I do keep my criticism to a minimum, but I also believe we have a responsibility, first-and-foremost, to make this a place we want to hang out in. If you are so inclined to proselytize I hope we can make the first target of our improvement project our own backyard. Feel free to chastise me and LB. We are bad men.

Thanks to everyone for excellent questions. I still have a backlog of a few that will be answered in the coming weeks, but if you want yours answered, post them here.

Also, if you get a chance, check out Big0ne’s blog from January 5th. They are some excellent questions and the answers and level of discussion made me proud to be 2o2p. Kudos Big!

Editor's Notes (these are for LBsutke):

–verb (used with object), verb (used without object), -ized,-iz⋅ing. to convert or attempt to convert as a proselyte; recruit.