Why isn’t canned air scented? Wouldn’t honey ham be nice?

Sometimes you just have to throw down your gauntlets of lasagna and laugh at how small your stomach is, no you’ll never win the hot dog eating championship or be able to drink a gallon of milk in an hour or smash a dozen saltine crackers down your throat.  You’re simply a shrew for you still eat constantly shoving tiny morsel after miniscule morsel of high caloric content down your cute little pie hole.  Sometimes it’s not even food but varying kinds of syrup that you make at home from a gadget you bought on QVC, yes that’s right, the home syrup maker.  Now with ease anything can be syrup: chocolate, strawberries, butter, rice, broccoli rabe, even a car battery.  Try traditional flavors with non-traditional ingredients like balsamic orange blueberry syrup or Peach Robitussin for the finicky plague bearer.  It has endless possibilities with the all new nebulizer for sending syrup into the four dimension of aerosol.  Why just eat syrup when you can spray it everywhere and enjoy it all the time?  Like in your car, or your boat, or at work, or in a barn…why smell horse when you can smell a chocolate horse?!  Just dump ingredients into the black plastic basket for dumping ease and press the red button, large button attachments are available for seniors, then enjoy the fun!  Ten Tetraopsycholine Bottles are included at no extra cost, it’s the same bottles used on the secret Russian Space Laser, you know the Russians, they love their syrup and their lasers!!!

 

Why does pepto taste like mint, shouldn’t it be bubble gum or strawberry?