Top Ten Reasons to Accept That Job Offer from David Letterman

10. Get to find out "Worldwide Pants" refers to his breathing

9. Whenever he has trouble performing, he can always count on Paul

8. Stupid Prostate Tricks

7. Pillow talk includes fond remembrances of working with Calvert DeForest

6. "Can Jay do this? Huh? Can Jay do this?"

5. Share in wistful late-life transition from "My girlfriend doesn't understand me" to "My wife doesn't understand me"

4. Will It Rise?

3. Tries to be nice about it when he passes you off to Biff Henderson

2. "Whoops, looks like Cheney isn't the only one who shoots people in the face"

1. After the sex, he lets you keep the Palin wig