I’ll miss the old crazy bunch

Now leaving Crazy-town, next stop, Crazy City!

Since tomorrow will be made up of packing boxes I’m saying my goodbyes to the crazies in my office now…

 

Goodbye Flamingo boy, I don't know your real name, nor do I care.....you always stand on one leg and have actually been know to hop down the hallway on one leg…but I will miss the opportunity to mock you for never speaking, being a legitimate candidate for the Ministry of Silly Walks, and walking in and out of the bathroom no less that 5 times before you decide you didn’t really have to pee anyway…but I will not miss the occasions where I open the door to the men’s room to see you standing on the other side without pants ….staring at your feet(or something in that general direction)….have fun working in the office across the street.

 

Goodbye Crazy Tony….I will miss listening in on the conversations you have with your dead wife….even though you change your voice to sound like a woman when you are talking as her, I will also miss your limitless knowladge of Steelers Trivia….but we will not miss it when you speak very loudly discussing your sex life….it brings too many disturbing images of what you do when you are home alone (if you can really call it alone)…while you will still be in the same office as us, we doubt you will last long after the other people hear you discussing sneaking off to the bathroom to “mess around”

 

Good bye creapy lady…I don’t know your name but after the last 3 years of you telling me about the dresses you are buying (weekly) for your (deceased) daughter to wear to her prom (that was actually 15 years ago even though she only died 6 years ago)  not to mention the stories you tell about your boyfriend who lives in Kenya, who will come to visit if you could just send him another $15,000, really he will come this time.... Have a happy retirement.

 

And finally to Gary….I will miss listening to you freak out and punch your computer, walls, desk, trash can, and filing cabinet….the randomly screamed obscenities were a colorful touch to the normally very, very quite office environment. Although we were always fearful that you may bring in a gun and try to kill all of us, we were assured by our all knowing supervisors that there was no risk of that so long as we didn’t “REALLY piss you off” by doing something like recommend you for counseling or question anything you told us....or talk about work with him.... Have a happy retirement.

 

I will miss the “spice” you each brought to my day…but since I will be working with a whole new crop of crazies, I’m sure I won’t miss it for long.

 

 

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And before anyone asks, as a test, I have done the following things without having anyone questions me, try to stop me, or even look twice:

 

I have referred to myself in the third person all day for 3 days.

 

I have talked through my agent for 2 straight days (and by agent I mean a cheap plastic finger puppet)

 

I walked around the office asking myself math questions and answering them….2 days later I did the same thing but answered every math question wrong, congratulating my self on my math abilities…

I drank 4 Red bulls in about an hour…..I don’t really need to go into details here on what happened to me...use your imagination…, but lets just say that no one in my office really reacted…

 

So, I’ve come to the realization that going completely crazy is about the best job security I could ever hope to have…

 

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