Durty
Shared on Fri, 11/16/2007 - 18:15I needed a laugh...so I found a few things that made me laugh...and to give you something to think about:
Can you cry under water?
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How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
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Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny
for
your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?
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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
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What disease did cured ham actually have?
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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would
be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake
up like every two hours?
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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see
you naked anyway.
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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song
about him?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can a hearse
carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does Goofy stand tall while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the
hemisphere,
but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad
at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the
Window?
Can you cry under water?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny
for
your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What disease did cured ham actually have?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would
be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake
up like every two hours?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see
you naked anyway.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song
about him?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can a hearse
carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does Goofy stand tall while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the
hemisphere,
but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad
at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the
Window?
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Comments
Submitted by Donk2o2p on Sat, 11/17/2007 - 10:23
Submitted by LtBlarg on Sat, 11/17/2007 - 10:32