You know at the zoo when they tell you not to feed the monkeys? This is like that. Why do you keep sending this guy questions? Are you sadists?
I thumbs downed your blog because you are not attractive.
I’ve tried to pretend that it was for some other reason. I have carefully read every word of your blog looking for misplaced commas and dangling participles, fallacies of logic or vaguely objectionable traces of anti-Semitism. I drew from my past experiences to demonstrate that the topic of your blog required the careful consideration of experienced experts to be fully fleshed out and that your lack of expertise was therefore inexcusable. I even did some background research on Wikipedia to come up with some disconnected factoids and buzzwords to lend strength to my argument.
However, the fact remains that if you were a 5’ 9” brunette in the 115 - 138 1/2 pound range with a nice rack and even the slightest inclination to laugh at my jokes in a pre-game lobby, you would have gotten a thumbs up for the exact same blog entry.
It was your looks.
That and some folks I know at Classmates.com forwarded entries to me from your high-school’s 20th reunion bulletin board that indicate your head smelled like mustard after Gym class and the rest of the school called you “Poop-on Head.”
I fully expect that my honesty in this matter will send others to the profile/online photos/forum entry/LAN video where I saw the picture of you and you can now expect a flood of thumbs down from others for equally specious reasons.
Sure, I realize how rude it is. After all, you spent minutes writing that pointless drivel down detailing the weekend visit to the veterinarian with your vomiting cat. You poured your heart and soul into re-posting that funny e-mail you got from your sister-in-law about why pickles are better than men. Since your love of Japanese anime is so pure and refined I should have a better appreciation of it from the plot synopsis you painstakingly typed. If I can’t manage that, I should at least have the courtesy to not read it. You even went so far as to put the wicked “F” in “LMFAO” to demonstrate, not just how funny that n00b timmy was, but how adult you are as well.
The fact is that I just don’t care how rude I’m being.
I took the basest, least labor intensive way of judging a blogger and applied it to my assessment of your online journal.
“Hmmm. Interesting treatise on the healthcare profession in Surinam, but those boobs look lopsided.”
Thumbs down.
“Sure, I like the First through Third Amendments, too, but that guy could stand to lose a few pounds.”
Thumbs down.
I’ll tell you what. Maybe I just had no idea how soul-crushingly devastating it is to be thumbs-downed. Try this. Instead of just lying down and taking it like you have for the last forty-five seconds, quickly post another blog about the inequity of the whole system. That should set things to right. As soon as insensitive pricks like me learn the psyche-shattering effect our thoughtlessness creates, we’ll surely set the world back in order again and shower you with the praise those pictures of snow from your back deck deserve.
Son-of-a-bitch. I did it again.
I did it again because you didn’t get anymore attractive in the time period between the blog I thumbs-downed because you are ugly and the blog I thumbs-downed beseeching me to be honest about my reasons for thumbing the first one down. I realize it might seem harsh and you want to look for other reasons why I would do this. Maybe I had a fight with my wife and I’m just bitter about women? Perhaps your virility is a threat to me since my erections are not as firm as when I was twenty-five? Maybe I’m too dumb to understand the subtle shades of difference between the Submachine Gun in Left 4 Dead and Sidney’s 10mm SMG from Fallout 3? Maybe I just hate everyone including myself and this is how I make myself feel better?
Nope.
It’s you. You’re ugly and that’s why you get thumbs-downed.
Wow! It feels good to be honest! Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!
Also, please Digg this article.
Onto the questions!
Big0ne asks: Should we assume that just because you started a thread in which we could ask you questions, you don't necessarily intend to answer any of them?
Great Question Big0ne! The thread to ask Bubba questions is right here.
MikeJames asks: Now that all of the fervor from the inauguration is settling down can you tell us what you did for the National Day of Service?
I donated blood. Well to be completely honest I made an appointment to donate blood since one wasn’t available on the 19th. I donate platelets and other blood components rather than whole blood so they always have to schedule my appointments a few days in advance to be sure the right equipment is there.
January is desperate times for blood centers so no matter what you can donate, contact your local one and give up some bodily fluid. This year has been really rough with the extreme weather and all so go bleed for your neighborhood.
Tdrag asks the mind-shatteringly-difficult-question: Where do you see 2o2p in five years?
Wow.
When I consider the early history of the site, my own history with participation with anything, much less an online community, and my personal knowledge of the principals involved, this question literally boggles my mind. We’re closing in on four years of existence and it is starting to seem like an even money bet that we may have to start thinking long-term about this site.
Wherever we wind up in five years I’m pretty sure there is no template written yet that would help me predict now. New features crop up out of the blue so often, plans get delayed for so long (and rewritten so frequently), new people come to the site and old ones all of a sudden start working with such fervor, that even trying to make a prediction makes my brain hurt. I tend to think of the site like an organic thing. Not like a plant. More like a Fungus. Most of the time it spreads along a forest primeval floor devouring shit and decay and spitting spongy white stuff back out. Every now and then though something bright and colorful pops up and you just know eating it will kill you in 35 seconds.
Alright. My metaphor engine just turned off and what I just wrote doesn’t make any sense to me either. I still love the question though and would love to hear what others have to say. Feel free to post it in the comment section.
Large-mass lbsutke asks: Name three things you wish you had never seen at any of the ChiTown lans you went to.
Here they are in ascending order:
3
2
1
Some things you can’t unsee.
Thanks everyone for another awesome batch of questions. Please post any others you would like answered or ignored here.
If you get a chance, drop Waterborn a PM on the great job he’s doing. I just read three separate entries on the how I found 2o2p thread that said it was from the upcoming XBL Community playdate. Way to go Waterborn!
