My Mutts, My Girl and Me

Well, I hate to be a Blog whore, but apparently today is a day for such things (though technically I am wrapping up this blog post on the 26th at 1:25 am), particularly since Santa decided to take my 360 and leave in its place a big white lump of coal - better known as a RROD 360 doorstop. Well, after whining about my ill fortune, I decided to focus on dinner and made my little lady some Christmas dinner. The menu for the evening consisted of the following:

• Roasted Cornish Hen with Rum and Herb Glaze
• Portabella Mushroom Stuffing accented with rosemary, sage, garlic and little more rum for good measure
• Roasted Asparagus with olive oil, lemon juice and fresh cracked black pepper

So after enjoying our Dinner, my girl and I headed out for our annual tradition of seeing a movie on Christmas Night. We have wanted to see the Movie Marley and me since first hearing about it, having read the book and being big dog people, so it seemed like a logical and festive choice. Well the movie was very much like the book, full of humor and life and a bit of sadness as well. If you have have lost a family friend, you will cry during parts of this film. Grown men were tearing up as they left the theater and I remained seated with my girlfriend for some time taking in what we had just seen. If you have a dog, have ever had a dog or simply love dogs, you really must see this movie. If you are a cat person, then I must confess, that I feel a little sad for you.

This movie made me think alot about my dog and my older pup whom we lost in the fall of 2007 after having her for 13 years. I posted a brief blog about her, but thought that I would revisit her memory and post a little bit of information about my current pooch.

Kanna

Kanna was not my first dog after leaving home for college, but the first that I kept through her entire life, the first dog that I can truly say I cared for, both physically and emotionally. The first dog that I followed through every stage of life, from puppy to training to old age and eventually to her last days. But more on that in a minute.

I found her at a resuce shelter while attending grad school in Melbourne, Florida. I really had no business getting a dog at the time as my life was about as settled as that of most students who attend graduate school in Florida. Beaches, surfing and girls were my thing at the time. However, against better judgement and plain common sense, I decided to adopt this puppy, who was 6 weeks old when she came to me. I say "came to me" because from the start, I knew that she was something special. Her full name Kannagara No Michi comes from a Shinto (Japanese) term meaning "old spirit". More precisely, the term is a reference to the shinto concept that all consciousness is collective and collaborative over time. In other words, we are all of one consciousness, sharing "life" from different perspecitves. I know that this seems to be a bit complicated a concept to form the basis of a dog's name, but at the time I was deeply into studying Eastern Philosophy, and as I aluded to earlier, a bit of a wayward spirit.

From the start, Kanna was her own entity, Skittish at first and fearful of loud noises - not a good trait for a pup growing up in Florida where afternoon thunderstorms were as regular as clockwork. Soon she grew stubborn and bold. She was very difficult to train and way too smart for her own good. You could see her weighing out options and consequences as she hung at the edge of "come" and bolting to lead me on one of many chases, down the road, down the beach, around the neighborhood. It took me the better part of two years, working with her almost every day, to get her to follow commands. Even then, she would let me know every now and again that though we had a basic agreement (that she would mind me when it suited her) that she was her own master and that she reserved the right to disobey when the mood struck her.

None the less, she was my girl and my best friend. We went everywhere together and she even weighed in on my girlfriends, most of which she either tolerated grudgingly, or out-right rejected. The most telling case was when I started a relationship that would become an extended lesson in bad choices and would ultimately end in my getting unceremoniously dumped. I had been dating this girl for a few weeks and she decided to stay over at my place for the first time. At this point, Kanna was about four years old and used to being the "Lady" of the house. She would normally sleep in bed with me and had never shared this place with anyone else other than me. Well, as we got ready to go to sleep, I told Kanna to get down, as my small bed was not big enough for three. She grudgingly did, but stood by the bed as we were about to lay down. I settled in and as my girlfriend attempted to get on the bed, Kanna hopped up, looked my guest right in the eye, growled and peed on her side of the bed. The message was clear - there would be only one lady in my life, and that was Kanna.

This same girlfriend followed me to my new job and home in Myrtle Beach, where we lived for several years. During our second year in our new home, I decided that both of the ladies in the house needed some company. Though they had come to a truce of sorts, Kanna was always a "Daddy's Girl" and never quite warmed fully up to my girlfriend at the time. My solution, I would get my girlfriend her own puppy and a playmate for Kanna all in one. Brilliant! I thought, and in some respects I was right on target, just not in the way that I had expected. So one day, after I had decided that this idea was indeed a good plan, I found out that one of my co-workers had a dog who recently had puppies - Rotweiler / Lab mixed mutts. She agreed to bring the litter to work one day and I sat down with the six little tykes. As all puppies are cute, I thought choosing one would be difficult. But then my decision was made for me. One pup walked over to me and put his head on my leg and that was that. I took the little guy home and my girlfriend immediately fell in love with him

Nygel

Though this guy was small when we got him, we knew that he would grow up to be a large dog. He had a quiet, almost reserved manner about him that reminded me of an old English Butler, so we dubbed him Nygel. And thus our family grew larger by one. Soon I was training Nygel and unlike his sister, he seemed to love to listen, to do what he was told. My girlfriend was not interested in the training process at all, so I spent a good deal more time with Nygel, training him, running with Kanna and him on the beach and what not. Soon Kanna and Nygel were inseparable, she always nipping at him to keep him in line and he the ever amiable big bloke, taking everything in stride in his silent way.

Not long after Nygel joined us, my work took us to Eastern, TN and Gatlinburg. Within six short months, my girlfriend went home to visit her family and simply never returned. She eventually called to get her things and "her" dog. By this time, Kanna, Nygel and I were like the three musketeers and I was not about to give my boy up, but felt it was important to let him make the decision on who he wanted to live with. So when my now ex came to pick up her things, I told her that Nygel would choose whether he would stay with me or go with her. We each walked about 20 feet away from him and began calling him. He looked both ways and then sauntered over to my side. He wanted to stay with me and Kanna and that was that. The inseperable three. Never would I let a anyone come in between us again - or so I thought.

My personal life was a bit of a mess during my time in TN, highlighted by a new, even more turbulent relationship and a growing dissatisfaction with my career. A rather harsh break-up and the late night rolling of my SUV on a mountain road, followed by a subequent eviction by someone who I thought was a friend had me frantic for a new start. Through all of this, my two pups were the one constant, the one sure way that I could find a little peace. We would go on regular hikes into the hills around Gatlinburg and to the top of a place call Max Patch, where I could leave all the crap behind, feel the wind blow and run around with my dogs.

On the Trail

Up the Hill

And to the top of Max Patch

Eventually I decided that I had to leave the area and found a new job in VA Beach, where I had lived before with Kanna and that "other woman" whom she never really accepted. As I searched for places to live, it became clear to me that finding a home as a single guy with two dogs was going to be difficult. Kanna, ever the independant one, loved the woods and seemed happy hanging out with my friend, who had two dogs, two great kids and a lot of land where she could roam. So I made the difficult decision to leave Kanna behind in TN and move to VA Beach with Nygel. Driving away in my car, Nygel by my side and Kanna looking at us leave, was very difficult, but I told myself this was best for everyone involved.

At first I thought that I would come back to get Kanna once I had settled in and had proven to my new landlord that both me and my dog were reliable tennants. Nygel was a saint and always well-behaved. I could go to the beach at the end of our street, place down a towel and go surfing. He would stay on the towel, every now and then coming to the water's edge to see if he could find me, then return to his towel. I never had to worry about him and I soon thought that maybe leaving Kanna in TN with my friend was indeed for the best.

Then one day I got a call from my friend telling me that Kanna had run off and had not returned for several days. My friend had decided that the dogs, hers and Kanna, were no longer going to be allowed inside. Kanna had been a "house dog" her whole life, sleeping with me or at least at the foot of my bed since she was six weeks old. She needed attention and direct contact. My friend made some comment about "Kanna going off to die" and that was it. I was in my car and heading from VA Beach to East TN. I told my friend that she had better find my dog, and when she did to let her inside and keep her there until I arrived. Luckily, by the time I did get there, Kanna had returned. I brought her home with me back to Va Beach, feeling as if I had deserted one of my kids. I felt like crap and believe to this day that if I had not returned to get Kanna that she would have indeed walked off into the woods and withered away. I kicked myself for not understanding the ties that bound me to both of my dogs.

Fast forward a few years. The three of us pretty much kept to ourselves. After the previous three relationships that I had been in had ended rather painfully, I had decided to leave women alone for a while and focus on friends and hanging out with my pups. Life was pretty good, living a block from the beach, surfing, kayaking and basically learning to be ok with life as a single guy in my 30's. Then one day I met my third "partner in crime", my girlfriend Michelle, through a mutual friend. After a weekend of hanging out with friends, I thought that maybe my luck had changed. And to my suprise, Kanna seemed to take to Michelle from the start. This seemed fortuitous and we are still together to this day.

So now we were a gang of four and tearing up the road.

Heading out on trips, hiking, camping

Chilling out at fesitvals.

Sightseeing

Taking time out at the beach.

It is funny how you wake up one day and find that you have this life, and if you are lucky, it is a good life, with love and companionship. I have such a life, where I come home to a house full of love and a bit of insanity. A house where the residents can sleep peacefully.

Even if my spot in the bed may not always be guaranteed.

Where family naps are a thing to be treasured.

Where friends stop by to say hello

Where Life Is Good

Michelle was there to support me last year when I came home from a long day at work to find Kanna shaking and unable to walk. She had a stroke that day and by the time I got to her, she could not even focus her eyes on me. I wasn't even sure that she could hear us. We took her to the emergency vet. Given her age at the time (13), the vet felt that little could be done for her. With Michelle by my side, we said goodbye to one of the closest companions that I have ever had in my life. Even after I had left her behind in TN, Kanna mirrored back all the affection that we could give to her. She had mellowed a bit in her old age, though she still had her independant streak about her. I miss her terribly.

Seeing Marley & Me tonight made me think about Kanna and about the moment when she left us and also about that moment when we will have to say goodbye to Nygel as well. It is impossible to explain to someone how much dogs can affect your life if they have not had these experiences. How do you explain the effect that the loss of a dog can have on you to someone who has not experienced the kind of companionship that they give you, day in and day out, never complaining (unless they need to pee), never wanting much more than a rub on the head, a ride in the car with the windows down and maybe a little bit off your plate once in a while. It was nice to spend the evening with a theater full of people who understood this simple pleasure, who were touched by this movie.

THE END