Getting My Head Screwed on Straight

Today was a wake up call for me. This past year has been pretty rough for my girl and me. In response, I have been taking on more and more and yet seemingly getting less and less done. Staying up late on the computer and not really putting in enough quality time for myself or with my girl. Well, today, for the first time in many months, I was able to get to the ocean and spend some time kayak surfing. Due to some car problems earlier in the day, I didn't get to the beach until almost 3:30 and missed most of my paddling buddies who had been out since 11 am or so. However, there were still some SUP'ers (Stand Up Paddlers for the uniniated) out and the surf was chest to head high and clean. So I dragged my boat to the water, pulled up my skirt (used to keep the water out of the boat) and paddled out. As soon as I go outside and took a few breaths, I realized how little I time I have spent focusing on the important things this past year. Things like my health, my girlfriend and my sanity. I have responded to much adversity this year with a kind of frenetic chaos, taking on more hobbies (coin-op restoration being one of them), a second job (opening up a vintage game store), following more online communities adn trying to do as much as I could as the Community Manager here at 2oldplay. However, the more that I have taken on, the less I have really accomplished. Despite the second income, money is tighter than ever. Despite all the energy that I have put into the CM position, I really have not gotten many organized events together for this site. I have written no news articles for the front page since May, have not worked out in months, haven't surfed or done yoga or spent enough true quality time with my better half. Sitting out in that surf today made me breathe and take stock of what I am putting all my energy towards. Much like a dog chasing its tail, I came to the conclusion that I was becoming the embodiment of one of the most famous lines from Shakespeare's Hamlet:

Life is a tale told by an idiot. Full of sound and fury, yet signifying . . . . nothing.

So I have decided to step back and get reacquainted with the silence inside my head. To this end, you will probably see much less of me online in the near future. I hope to continue posting regular blogs, but will be pulling back from other responsibilities here at 2old2play such as writing for the Press Corps and organizing events. I still hope to be able to set up some form of 2old2play gathering in conjunction with the PAX_EC event here in Boston in March and will keep you posted and things progress there. Due to an ever tightening budget, I will not be buying any of the big gaming titles this winter and will probably spend most of any time I do spend gaming working on my Robotron scores (still a passion of mine) and catching up on the many 360 and classic titles that sit on my shelves unfinished. I just completed Condemned II this past week and finally got past the damn refinery stage in Rainbow Six Vegas 2 last night. I also plan to hit the sack earlier, get up at dawn and get my ass back in shape. I hope to rekindle my love for kayaking, aikido and yoga and get my mind and body realigned. Until I get my head straight, the rest will continue to be chaos, which is tough on my lady.

So keep the light on for me folks.

I leave you with some pictures from my afternoon.

SUP'er in the line up.

Sunset over Boston Harbor

Going, going, gone

Fresh Salsa Verde and Guacamole made upon returing home.

Below is a very timely email that I received tonight. Wierd how life sometimes reinforces what you already know.

#1 - One day per week, I will not e-mail, text message, instant message
or visit a social or professional networking website.  If I have to
communicate with someone, I will meet with them face to face or call
them on a phone and talk (phones still do that!).  Sure, there could be
an urgent or important message you must send or check, but really, 99%
of all modern electronic communications can wait for one day or be dealt
with over the phone.  Use your best judgment.

#2 - Once a week, I will try to meet with a friend for one hour.  This
would preferably not be the same friend every week, but rather someone
new or someone you haven't talked to in awhile.  Also, I promise for
this hour I will turn off my phone and put it away (or not even bring
it) to prevent me from not being able to focus on the conversation.

#3 - Once every two weeks, I will grab lined paper and a pen and write a
letter to someone.   No typing allowed and it has to be more than a
quick one-sentence note, at least three paragraphs long.  Sure some
people might initially think I'm in prison, but I think the thought and
effort will come through.

#4 - If I need to convey any emotion (I'm happy, I'm angry) I will not
type it or text it, rather I will do it face-to-face or by talking over
the phone.  No matter how much you think you can relay with a keyboard,
it's next to impossible to convey real emotions.

#5 - Either I will not answer my cell phone if I am within 5 feet of
another person, or, if I absolutely need to answer it, immediately leave
out of courtesy for my fellow humans.  It's rude to sit and talk on the
phone while in a crowd or with another person.

#6 - On my social networking websites (Facebook, Twitter, My Space) I
will not "friend" anyone who I do not know.  To be someone's friend
should be something special, and not only does "friend-ing" everyone who
asks elevate complete strangers to a place I might not want them, it
also demeans my real friends who are suddenly grouped in with complete
strangers.

#7 - I will send a private note to all of my friends on my social
networking websites once a month, regardless of whether I hear back from
them or not.  If they are worth joining online, then they are worth a
brief message once a month.

#8 - If I can't write it with in 140 characters without abbreviating,
distorting, and losing parts of the meaning, I will not use Twitter.
Twitter alone is mauling the English language into a pulp.

#9 - I will not text message while I am meeting with another person or
when I am in my car, regardless of whether I am driving or not.  By
using a phone as a keyboard, it shows me the relative non-urgency of
these messages, and hence all you are doing is alienating a friend or
endangering everyone on the road for something you can do later.

#10 - If I receive an e-mail from a friend, I will respond to it within
a week.

#11 - I will read a non-fiction news source, not associated with the
cable news networks, and not some overtly biased online mudslinger, for
30 minutes once a week.  Most of the cable news, and it's online
reprinting, is condensed down to almost bullet point information.  Real
news articles will flush a story out, giving me a better understanding
of an issue.  This will not only make me smarter, but will give me
something to communicate about.

#12 - I will proof read every message before I send it.  With so much
instant communication, we have a lot of communicating with little or no
thought involved.  This will allow me to think about what I am writing
before I send it