Focus, Purpose and Some Folks I Really Admire

Over the past few days, while this site has been down, I have had some time to think about what I should cover in my next blog. Lately, I have been a bit erratic and all over the place, both in my personal life and on these pages, bouncing around from activity to activity and topic to topic, taking a shotgun approach to life. I work a full-time job, run a vintage video games store on the side, serve as the Community Manager here at 2old2play.com, interview people and cover many topics for this blog, am working to create a very special 2old2play event in preparation for PAX 2010 in Boston, strive to say connected to the world of emerging social media and community development, give back to all the communities in which I roam and, most importantly, doe everything that I can to carve out a life for me and my girl, who turned my life around five years ago simply by accepting me for who I am and spending the ensuing years supporting everything that I do.

You see, I have always held the belief that Life Is Short (capitalized & bolded here for a reason) and that one should strive to live it as fully and with as much focus and drive as one can. In college, the fraternity that I belong to (Phi Delta Theta) used the phrase "En coelo quies est" as our official epiteph, to be put on our gravestones when we pass. This Latin Phrase literally means "In Heaven there is rest." However, I have always suscribed to my own definition as "You can sleep when you are dead", taking this to mean that one should live their life to the fullest every day as it can be taken away in the blink of an eye. This belief has been reinforced on me time and time again and has served as the nexus for all that I do, becoming the driving force behind the decisions I make on a daily basis.

While thinking about these concepts, I have come to realize that many of those individuals that have profoundly affected the course of my life, along with some new associates whom I have recently met, share certain traits and a combined focus that supports my Life Is Short philosophy. So today, as our website comes back to life after being down for several days, I would like to share some thoughts on a few individuals who provide me with food for thought. Perhaps there are those in your life who have affected you in a similar fashion. If so, please let me know who they are and how they motivate and move you.

James A. Paris - None of you will know this name. It belongs to my grandfather and the one invidual who has had the most profound affect on my life. To the world, he was known as James, to his family Arthur, and to me, he was know simply as Papa. This was a man of strong principles, stronger convictions and a dedication to his family above all else. He worked in a iron smelting factory for most of his life, helped my grandmother to open up a small women's boutique in an even smaller town in central Florida and then went back to work at a Sand Company in a nearby town after his retirement. Papa was a man who worked very hard his whole life. He got up at the crack of dawn and worked hard all day and frequently during the wee hours, always making time for his family when he returned home. He was a stoic man, who said little so that when he did speak, you knew it was important and you listened closely. He could let you know if he was dissapointed in you with a simple look. I never heard him raise his voice once, but never felt so bad as those few times when I knew I had let him down somehow. When he was in public, he seemed the figure of old-world respect and dignity. Yet when I was alone with him, he would often play the clown for me, making me laugh or taking me fishing, where we would sit in a tethered boat and say little, enjoying the simple act of being together. The proudest day of my life came my freshmen year in college. I worked a job installing above-ground pools in the hot Florida sum that summer. Sometimes we would install three pools a day and we dug most by hand with shovels. I developed huge calouses on my hands from the heavy work. Late that summer, when I went to visit my granfather, Papa took one look at my hands and told me "Boy, you work too hard." Hearing these words from this man made both my chest and heart swell. No greater compliment has ever been bestowed up me. RIP Papa, you are missed.

M.L. (Name has been ommitted to protect her privacy) - This is my "girl", my better half. As luck or fate would have it, I met her shortly before the passing of my grandfather. At the time, I had come off of a long string of corrupt relationships with the opposite sex. This series of poor choices culminated with a particularly grueling three-year affair with a woman who literally tore my heart from my body and made me swear off of relationships for life. Not that I was switching teams per se, just done with the whole concept of finding someone to spend my life with in general. I had committed myself to the solo tract and I was fine with that. Then I met M.L. Our first meeting was less than auspicious. Depending on who you ask, she was either aloof (my version of the story) or simply reserverd (her side). However, by the end of that first weekend, a bond had begun to form. Five months later, as I traveled to Florida for my grandfather's funeral, I realized that I had lost my best friend. I also came to the conclusion that I had been lucky enough to find someone who accepted me just as he had, unconditionallly, flaws and all. Few are lucky enough to find such a person once in their lifetime. M.L left an 11-year career in a lucrative field to follow her dreams, go back to school and completely change her life. She now works in one of the most difficult professions that I can imagine, where she helps others every day, at considerable risk to her own mental and physical well-being. She somehow manages to do this with such a grace that I am amazed by her on a daily basis. She is strong, caring, loyal to a fault and one of the most amazing women I have ever known. Much respect B.B.

Joel aka Doodi (Founder of 2old2play) - We all know Doodirock, the man who serves as the backbone of this community. With the help of the other founders of 2old2play, Doodi took a simple idea moulded around a single goal - to create a community for big kids (that's us) to enjoy what they love outside of the influence of those (whom we call Timmies) that would soil the enjoyment of that activity - and made that idea into a reality. Five years later, 2old2play.com is the largest and most successful online community of its kind on the web. We have grown from a group of a few dozen friends gathered around a single game title (Halo 2) into a community of almost 18,000 registered members that spans a wide range of interests, both within the realm of video games and beyond. Through this community, lifelong friendships are made on a daily basis, not just in virtual space but also in the "real world" as well. And behind all this is Doodi and a team of folks who keep our home space running, even in the midst of malicsious attacks like the one we experience over the past weekend. All the admins here at 2old2play work very hard, with very little thanks and often even less sleep, to make sure that this community is not only maintained, but continues to grow and evolve. And the best thing is, Doodi is one of the most unassuming and approachable people I have had the pleasure of meeting. Take some time to get to know Joel, either at the next 2old2play Chi-LAN or via interaction on this site, and you will understand what I am getting at.

Henry Rollins - Though I have never had the pleasure of meeting Henry Rollins, his work has had a profound effect on my life since I was in high school. Henry become the lead singer of one of my favorite bands the year before I began the hell that I knew as high school. As the front man for Black Flag, Henry's intensity and sheer presence on stage always gave me strength through association. During my youth, I was a misfit, an outsider with few friends. I did not have the physical stature to either protect myself or to release the rage that was created by this isolation. One of my few outlets for this anger, which I now believe most teenage boys experience on one level or another, was through the music of groups like Black Flag and through the sheer animalistic tenacity that Henry would exhibit on stage. I never was able to see him perform during those years, my parents simply would not allow it. However, I carried that drive with me as I matured. It was not until much later, in the early 90's, that I learned of Henry's background story as told through his writings and interviews. He took experiences that would have made most people insane or at least insanely violent to others, and channeled the resulting energy into some of the most agressive music and insightful writing of our time. He has donated his time and energy to support various human rights and social causes and constantly holds a bright Q-beam up to all the shit in this world that simply does not make sense. His propensity to "burn lean tissue" through constant travel, tourning with both his band and on spoken word tours, dedicating time to visit our troops overseas despite his vocalized objections to the policies that put them there, writing and acting exhibits a tirelessness that I strive to emulate on a daily basis. I don't suscribe much to the cult of personality. However, if there is one person alive today that I would love to interview, it would be this man.

Boston Derby Dames - Recently, through an effort to check out the recent preview of Drew Barrymore's newest film, I had the distinct pleasure to meet many of the members of the Boston-based Roller Derby Circuit. Having been indoctrinated into Roller Derby via Sunday afternoon TV as a kid, I had certain pre-conceptions of what a Derby Girl would be like. My impressions were based on the theatrics of the LA Thunderbirds, TV's Roller Jam and films produced in the 70's & early 80's. So when I met a group of contemporary Roller Derby enthusiasts during the press junket for Whip It, I was both suprised and impressed. Sure, alot of these women seem to fit a certain stereotype, tattoos and fishnets abound. However, upon interviewing and speaking with many of these women, I realized that they represented a wide range of personalities and life-choices and really did not fit into any single mold. Among the women I spoke with, there were teachers, bussiness executives, artists and professionals of all types. Hell, I even ran into a certain Ms. Floral Derrangement during a recent Red Cross blood drive at Fenway Park, where she simultaneously took my blood and entertained me with her carefree attitude and exuberance. The common traits that I see in these women include strength, intelligence, athleticsim and a common love for pariticating in a culture that is both uniquely feminine and empowering. To watch Little Orphan Fannie, a bombshell of energy and enthusiasm packed into a small frame, bust her ass on the track this past weekend at the MA Derby Semi-finals was a testiment to the fact that these ladies put everything they have into what they do. Much respect to you all.

Chris Brogan - Chris Brogan is a bit of an anomaly in the growing world of social media and community development. He, along with a select number of others in the field, are working to move the focus of traditional marketing and networking away from the "what can this do for me" philosophy toward a discussion on "what can I do for others." Via a concept that he describes as building "Trust Agents", Chris works to do away with long standing methods of building brands through mass-distribution of sales pitches and promotional information, focusing instead on creating mutually beneficial relationships through the development of long term partnerships. By sustaining a two-way conduit of communication and cooperation, the idea is that by helping others and buidling trust among one's peers, members of one or more communities can not only help to support those around them, but in turn will gain similar support through an ever-growing network of partners who have a vested interest in the mutual success of all involved. Some of Chris' idea are what spawned my "Protectionist Vs. Networking" blog post from last week. I truly believe that the best way for 2old2play to prosper as we grow is to embrace and support other groups within the Greater Online Community as a whole. Though these idea may seem pretty basic to some, if you look around the web these days, much of the activity you will see is still rather insular and separatist in nature. This is even more so among online gaming communities. Check out Chris' Twitter feed at twitter.com/chrisbrogan to get an idea of where he is heading with these concepts.

As I wrap up this Wall O Text blog post that I have created, I realize that I could continue on for days producing numerous pages about those who have and continue to influence my perspective on life. However, I think it is best that I stop here for now and allow you folks some time to read and digest these thoughts. I am genuinely interested to learn about those individuals who provide you with motivation, inspiration and direction. So please repond and let me know of some your personal influences and how they help to shape your perspective.