Be Honest

I find myself continually at a precipice of this very confusion. What, pray tell, can possibly entertain the thought of relationship in the face of vicious pain? How can the simple pleasures of life still fail to fill the void of such risky alliances? Only the coldness of unanimated distraction answers without an answer. The things of life… don’t give back.

 

Relationship continues to boil in unpredictable fashion – and that, perhaps, shows the key to our very existence. When I venture outside my cave of comfort, exhilaration waits with its twin brother, disappointment. That exhilaration, though, lives as a simple carrot to the soul – tempting and sometimes delivering joy completely non-existent in the trappings of my surroundings. Like an incredible rollercoaster, I find myself fearfully anticipating the rush, so dual emotions completely surround the surrender to outreach and attempt. Accelerating to the bottom and catching a glimpse, only to suddenly find myself thrust back into the difficult climb back to the thrill. So exists relationship – a wild ride of uncertain ups and downs guaranteed to thrill while always maintaining the risk of failure.

 

In the past few years, a new theory has worked its way into my brain that people in general in today’s “connected” society have lost some of the core tenets that I hold to in politeness and respect when it comes to honesty in relationship. And by “relationship”, I mean all interactions with other humans, not some high-toned definition that means exclusivity or commitment in any type of super long term sense, but simple terms of what I see as normal, expected interaction. Basically, if a person with whom any type of history exists seeks some type of an audience, however brief, respect would dictate some type of response. One example, should you receive an email requesting your time and you gauge your own response in the negative, politeness would then dictate an appropriate response. However, very often, I see that the fear of reaction dictates a response of a “no reply”. Or, in painful words, “ignoring” the person hoping that the situation falls off onto the shoulders of the requester thus sparing any uncomfortableness on the receiver. I decry this action in every way.

 

Too often, these days, I see a pattern of selfishness that permeates our small interactions. Whether ignoring simple requests on social networking websites or letting txt messages fall to the bottom of our ever-scrolling lists, we tend to put off anything that puts us out without regard to the consequences. Not returning a txt message that makes me uncomfortable? Well, how dare that person make me uncomfortable! No consideration for the message bearer, though – the person who stepped out to make a connection with you. Fault only lies where the fault line begins, I say. And, sure, argument can easily bear on the exponential degree to which attempts surely go, but focusing simply on the stumbling steps of pure relationship building, actions should follow words. Respect should reign in human interactions to corporate gain rather than individual desire.

 

Let me lay it out in simple terms: don’t ignore someone when they ask you a question. Be polite, but truthful and firm. Please, don’t say things that “sound good” to try to “spare feelings”, but again, be polite, truthful and firm. Stop the little lies that offer hope where no hope exists. Actions speak louder than such words, but they aren’t as immediate and tend to erode a person’s spirit in a more destructive way than the bite of immediate truth. A hammer will definitely strike a crossbeam with resounding sound, yet the damage pales in comparison to the silent house of termites eroding the foundation. Lies, half-truths and silence are the termites of human relationship – more destructive than the clanging truth which shatters the ears yet leaves lives intact behind the wake.