Phyuck Yoo, Corin Montgomelie!

My first 2o2p blog confession: I have a problem with Colin Montgomerie. I don't know when it originated, but I've been shouldering the burden for quite some time now. He bothers me. Perhaps it's the smug look on his Stay Puft-esque face...he's only smiling when he's winning or when he hits a member of the gallery. Or it could be the fact that he always seems to kick the ever-living crap out of the Americans whenever he's on the European Ryder Cup team (all the time). Better yet, it's likely because he's called "Monty," and I don't even like that name for Monty Hall - Mr. "Let's Make a Deal" himself.

Today, I came up with another reason to despise Mr. Montgomerie: he has an uncanny ability to kick the ass of my Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2007 character. It doesn't make any sense. I'm actually really good at this game, but whenever I'm playing him in the Tiger Challenge or any of the training challenges, he's just all sorts of badass and there's nothing I can do but try to keep myself from crying and flinging the controller across the living room. The man hits it to 1 foot of the pin, out of rough, behind a tree. He makes 20 foot putts. He holes out when it's the only way he can win a hole. I'm also totally convinced that my guy's stats drop when he's loaded into memory...I can't hit the ball straight to save my life, and I can almost hear his British/Scottish/Ogreish chuckled behind me. I've had it. Bollocks to you, Colin Montgomerie. I bask in the glory of you having never won a major championship and I continue to be giddy at your meltdown at Winged Foot in the 2006 U.S. Open. Nice seven iron! OK, you probably don't really deserve all that, but dammit you could let me win a freaking game.  And by the way, your Kit Kat commercial SUCKS ASS!