LOL

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: The truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.  When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.  I was gone only a few minutes.  When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.  "When you finish cutting the grass," I said, "you might as well sweep the driveway."

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Sitting behind a couple of Nuns at a Dallas Stars hockey game (whose habits partially blocked their view), three men, from Colling, Dallas, and Parker counties, in Texas decided to badger the Nuns in an effort to get them to move.

In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think I'm going to move to Utah, there are only 100 Nuns living there".

The second guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Montana, there are only 50 Nuns living there".

The third guy said, "I want to go to Idaho, there are only 25 Nuns living there".

One of the Nuns turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet, calm voice said, "Why don't you go to Hell?  There aren't any Nuns there."