snakemeister
Shared on Wed, 12/19/2007 - 10:56*sigh*
Where to start?
I phoned my mum last night, and she tells me that she doesn't agree with my dad at all. I think she's probably a bit disappointed that we're not getting them anything, which I can understand, but she understands that we're doing it out of neccesitty, not out of spite. It was a tough phone call for me, and i was amazed that I held myself together as well as i did. She told me that she'd understand if we didn't want to come over at all this Christmas, and I swear I think my heart broke right down the middle when she did.
The thing is, I don't want to not go over at all, but I needed to let her know that even though she doesn't feel the way my dad apparently does, we're still going to feel awkward when we go over. I told mum that I don't want to say to her that we're not coming over if dad will be there - I don't want to make her choose between him and me - but after the things he's said about us, I really think that it'll be best if we avoid him, for this year at least. I'll need to phone mum again tonight to confirm that we'll be over on Boxing Day, but I'll need to tell her it'll be better all round if we time it so that dad is out at work. I don't know what we'll do next year, but this year I don't think I'll be able to be in the same room as him.
It means a lot to me that mum doesn't feel the same way dad does. In a very sad, strange way it might have been easier if she had, as things would have been a bit more straight-forward, even if they would have been more painful. As I said, I managed to hold myself together on the phone, but I was in floods of tears afterwards though.
I spoke with my sister last night for the first time in a long time and she told me that dad had been speaking to her, saying how terrible he felt, and how he wished he hadn't said anything and that he really wanted to say sorry about what he'd done. That conversation appears to have been before he sent me the email telling me that he didn't really want anything else to do with me. She also told me some more info about him that had been kept from me, something pretty shocking, but sadly not surprising. She called me back later, after she'd spoken with mum and dad, to tell me that she'd given dad a piece of her mind, bu that she thought mum had been crying when she spoke to her, and she just wanted to make sure I told mum that we would be seeing them over Christmas.
Hopefully it'll be a straightforward phone call tonight - I could really do with a break :)
Also - woke up this morning with a vicious cold - shivers, shakes, aches and pains - the works. Hopefully I'll feel a bit better tomorrow, I've got my work night out. I can't see me staying out late, but I'm pretty sure I'll be getting shedded. Please God, let Friday be a quiet day at work :P
Where to start?
I phoned my mum last night, and she tells me that she doesn't agree with my dad at all. I think she's probably a bit disappointed that we're not getting them anything, which I can understand, but she understands that we're doing it out of neccesitty, not out of spite. It was a tough phone call for me, and i was amazed that I held myself together as well as i did. She told me that she'd understand if we didn't want to come over at all this Christmas, and I swear I think my heart broke right down the middle when she did.
The thing is, I don't want to not go over at all, but I needed to let her know that even though she doesn't feel the way my dad apparently does, we're still going to feel awkward when we go over. I told mum that I don't want to say to her that we're not coming over if dad will be there - I don't want to make her choose between him and me - but after the things he's said about us, I really think that it'll be best if we avoid him, for this year at least. I'll need to phone mum again tonight to confirm that we'll be over on Boxing Day, but I'll need to tell her it'll be better all round if we time it so that dad is out at work. I don't know what we'll do next year, but this year I don't think I'll be able to be in the same room as him.
It means a lot to me that mum doesn't feel the same way dad does. In a very sad, strange way it might have been easier if she had, as things would have been a bit more straight-forward, even if they would have been more painful. As I said, I managed to hold myself together on the phone, but I was in floods of tears afterwards though.
I spoke with my sister last night for the first time in a long time and she told me that dad had been speaking to her, saying how terrible he felt, and how he wished he hadn't said anything and that he really wanted to say sorry about what he'd done. That conversation appears to have been before he sent me the email telling me that he didn't really want anything else to do with me. She also told me some more info about him that had been kept from me, something pretty shocking, but sadly not surprising. She called me back later, after she'd spoken with mum and dad, to tell me that she'd given dad a piece of her mind, bu that she thought mum had been crying when she spoke to her, and she just wanted to make sure I told mum that we would be seeing them over Christmas.
Hopefully it'll be a straightforward phone call tonight - I could really do with a break :)
Also - woke up this morning with a vicious cold - shivers, shakes, aches and pains - the works. Hopefully I'll feel a bit better tomorrow, I've got my work night out. I can't see me staying out late, but I'm pretty sure I'll be getting shedded. Please God, let Friday be a quiet day at work :P
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