1. Blogs
  2. Rashanii's blog
  3. What Constitutes a Good Father?

What Constitutes a Good Father?

Rashanii

Shared on Wed, 05/03/2006 - 10:20

I wish I was joking when I wrote this. I wish I could say I was high, or drunk, or something of that nature, but Im not. Im just being honest.

I dont know if I am a bad father.

To be honest, I dont know if Im a good father, either. Or in between. I spend time with my daughter. A lot of time, in my eyes. We go to the park, we play games like memory and cards, I cook with her and eat with her, I watch tv with her.  I draw with her and color with her. I tuck her into bed and I wake her up in the morning. Im a single father.

But I play video games.

LOTS of video games.

I dont think that the video game time is more than I spend with my daughter, but it sure is starting to look that way, and that is depressing. My daughter doesnt want a lot of my time.

It just seems like she wants all of my time.

I am proud of Bella. Everything she does is magic. Every time she says something new, I smile. But should I feel guilty for wanting time to myself? Should

I feel like I am abandoning her future for a few rounds of TS on Halo 2? If I let her watch me play, or if I let her play Marble Blast, is that bonding? Or am I ignoring her while she sits right next to me?

My family says Im a good father that has an addiction, and my daughter suffers for it. I say that I am doing the best I can, but I should be able to dedicate time to myself without feeling guilty.

So why do I feel guilty?

 

Comments

wareaglebeene1's picture
Submitted by wareaglebeene1 on Wed, 05/03/2006 - 10:35
The only time you should feel guilty is if you are neglecting your daughter to play games. I play after my daughter goes down for a nap, bed, or has a movie playing on her TV. Otherwise I am doing all that other stuff right there with you. Maybe you should cut down on the Karaoke time :twisted: .
Gazzara's picture
Submitted by Gazzara on Wed, 05/03/2006 - 10:50
Mate - It seems you are doing a fine job from what you have written. You are not neglecting her for your gaming and if you do have a game when she is there then she is playing too and that is bonding. You spend a lot of time with her and always think about her wishes and that she is happy. I do the same (I am a father of a 2 year old with another on the way) but sometimes when they are done and in bed you need the you time to relax and be the father that you are day after day. If you dont get that then things start to suffer because yopu dont feel 100%. I hope that makes sense but Im there qwith ya mate.
DEEP_NNN's picture
Submitted by DEEP_NNN on Wed, 05/03/2006 - 11:02
Rashanii, Set some rules for yourself to follow. Set time slots for yourself and your family. The Time for yourself should not be during family hours. Its okay to play video games "with" your daughter. She will watch "you" play for hours no doubt but that could be considered ignoring her. There should be interaction between you and your daughter during video games. Even good fathers can make mistakes. Your family may be correct so get control of the situation.
Blue_Stiehl's picture
Submitted by Blue_Stiehl on Wed, 05/03/2006 - 11:05
It sounds like you spend a lot of quality time with her. If you spend all your time with your daughter, you will be teaching her that the world revolves around her and she will expect everyone else to do the same. All parents need some time to themselves. By showing her you need your own time, you will be teaching her that it is ok to do things on her own and that she is able to entertain herself. I consider letting her watch you play as bonding. That is how my son and I started out. He enjoyed watching me play, he actually would rather have me play. As he grew older, he started playing and I would watch. When he got stuck, he would call me in to help him out. We played a lot of games together. Now that he is older, we have a bond that his mother doesnt. With both our busy schedules, some of our together time is spent online. We may not be in the same house, but we are in the same room with xbl. Just remember, it isnt the quanity of time, its the quality of the time spent together.

click for more 2O2P member action

click for more 2O2P member action

© 2007 Media Crumb Inc. All rights reserve Media Crumb Inc.

Join our Universe

Connect with 2o2p