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Freitag!

MikeTheKnife

Shared on Fri, 12/21/2007 - 09:13
Yes it's Friday! For reals this time.  Now today when I talk about tomorrow like it's Saturday, it really is and my friends won't think I'm crazy. 

Plus tonight I'm going to waste some good alcohol and make Silver Cadillac Margaritas, get hammered and try to play games online.  Fridays are awesome but today is the King of all Fridays.

This just in--it's pouring rain outside! That is quite a shock. When I drove into work this morning it didn't seem rainy at all, yet here an hour later I'm in a downpour. Well not me specifically, I'm in an office. But the 3 stray cats that live outside our building are in a downpour.  The really weird thing is from the angle of my window, there aren't any clouds. So there must be one big cloud right above this building.

This is the most boring blog I've ever read. I fell asleep two times writing it, I'm sorry to have had to put you through this ordeal. 

The end.

Comments

Baine's picture
Submitted by Baine on Fri, 12/21/2007 - 09:14
BOB We're still men. JACK Yes, we're men. Men is what we are. JACK (V.O.) Eight months ago, Bob's testicles were removed. Then hormone therapy. He developed bitch tits because his testosterone was too high and his body upped the estrogen. And that was where I fit-- BOB They're gonna have to open my pecs again to drain the fluid. Bob hugs tighter. JACK (V.O.) Between those huge sweating tits that hung enormous, the way you'd think of God's as big. Bob looks with empathy into Jack's eyes. BOB Okay. You cry now. JACK (V.O.) No, wait. Back up. Let me start earlier.
ekattan's picture
Submitted by ekattan on Fri, 12/21/2007 - 09:19
Margaritas? Then you will do your wife's hair and she will do yours? Having a slumber party? Butch it up man for petes sake. Bust out the scotch and cigars and play some COD4 with your bros.
MikeTheKnife's picture
Submitted by MikeTheKnife on Fri, 12/21/2007 - 09:21
Last week, as my clanmates know because they were told repeatedly, I drank an entire bottle of Jack Daniels while playing COD4. While I'm told it was fun, this week I'd like at least some hazy memory of what happened. Plus I have a shitload of Patron Silver to drink, and when I drink it straight I can't do it fast enough to get lit. So...margarita night!
Baine's picture
Submitted by Baine on Fri, 12/21/2007 - 09:23
JACK (V.O.) When deep space exploration ramps up, it will be corporations that name everything: The IBM Stellar Sphere. The Microsoft Galaxy. Planet Starbucks. Jack, sipping stares blankly as his BOSS enters, Starbucks cup in hand, and hands a stack of reports. BOSS Gonna need you out-of-town a little more this week. We've got some "red-flags" to cover. JACK (V.O.) It must've been Tuesday. He was wearing his "cornflower-blue" tie. JACK (listless management speak) You want me to de-prioritize my current reports until you advise of a status upgrade? BOSS Make these your primary "action items". Here are your flight coupons. Call me from the road if there are any snags. Jack's boss slides the stack of reports on Jack's desk and leaves. JACK (V.O.) He was full of pep. Must've had his grande latte enema.
Baine's picture
Submitted by Baine on Fri, 12/21/2007 - 09:26
JACK (V.O.) Like so many others, I had become a slave to the IKEA nesting instinct. JACK (into phone) Yes, I'd like to order the Erika Peccary dust ruffles... OPERATOR (V.O.) Please hold. Jack drops the catalog on the floor.
Nighthawk70's picture
Submitted by Nighthawk70 on Fri, 12/21/2007 - 09:27
zzzzzzzzzzzzz....................... Seems as though Baine is on a SERIOUS Fite Klub kick today! Holy crap! Mister if you were my boss I would beat you with a rubber hose..
Baine's picture
Submitted by Baine on Fri, 12/21/2007 - 09:28
The Klipske personal office unit, the Hovertrekke home exer-bike. Or the Johannshamnh sofa with the Strinne green stripe pattern... The office unit APPEARS. Then the exer-bike APPEARS. JACK (V.O.) Even the Rislampa wire lamps of environmentally-friendly unbleached paper. THE LAMP APPEARS. PAN OVER to wall... JACK (V.O.) I would flip through catalogs and wonder "what kind of dining set defines me as a person?" A dining room set APPEARS. Jack, the cordless phone still glued to his ear, walks INTO FRAME and continues. Jack opens a cabinet with plates in it. JACK (V.O.) I had it all. Even the glass dishes with tiny bubbles and imperfections, proof they were crafted by the honest, simple, hard working people of...wherever. OPERATOR (V.O.) Please hold. JACK (into phone) I was holding. JACK( V.O.) We used to read pornography. Now it was the Horchow Collection.
rabbmasterflash's picture
Submitted by rabbmasterflash on Fri, 12/21/2007 - 09:30
the only thing worse would be daiquiris I am sticking to beer tonight
Mulchinator's picture
Submitted by Mulchinator on Fri, 12/21/2007 - 09:32
To paraphrase MJ, your (new avatar) is hot. I have to hang with my parents tonight. I think I'll take my Wii and Whiskey.
Baine's picture
Submitted by Baine on Fri, 12/21/2007 - 09:36
INTERN No, you can't die from insomnia. JACK What about narcolepsy? I nod off, I wake up in strange places, I have no idea how I got there. INTERN You need to lighten up. JACK Can't you, please, just give me something? JACK (V.O.) Red-and-blue Tuinal lipstick-red seconals. INTERN (overlapping with above) No. You need healthy, natural sleep. Chew some valerian root and get some more exercise. The Intern rushes Jack to the door. They step into the... INT. HALLWAY
MikeTheKnife's picture
Submitted by MikeTheKnife on Fri, 12/21/2007 - 09:36
I guarantee i'll get more fucked up on margs than you will on beers, and it's not a tolerance thing.
GroovyElm's picture
Submitted by GroovyElm on Fri, 12/21/2007 - 09:37
I remember one time as a kid I thought it would be fun to try see if I could light gasoline on fire. I did and it wasn't as fun as I thought. I tried to put the fire out by dumping the gasoline into a nearby creek, but what happened was the fire stayed lit as it flowed downstream, eventually catching leaves and debris on fire. Instead of taking responsibility for this I just ran. The moral of this story: Go ahead and drink your margaritas.
Nighthawk70's picture
Submitted by Nighthawk70 on Fri, 12/21/2007 - 09:39
hmm.. lets see.. Take game seriously and get pissed when I'm not doing so well.. OR get fucked up and who gives a crap! .. Lets watch MTK walk in circles in the game!
rabbmasterflash's picture
Submitted by rabbmasterflash on Fri, 12/21/2007 - 09:48
I guarantee you will get more fucked up on me despite what we are drinking

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