Odd Thoughts: Letting Go and First Love.

We are slowly (very... very slowly) packing up the house to get realy for staging and selling. Even though we plan on moving into a bigger place, we are trying to get rid of stuff, rather than move it (again).

Today i went through some of my old boxes of "stuff." Now, as a military brat, we moved a fair bit as a kid.  That meant we travelled relatively light. I remember selling off my toys and things like that. It used to bother me having to get rid of my "treasures." Today I got rid of lots of stuff... at one point it was sentimental and I needed it. Now I don't. Such a big girl! 

Two things that I chucked out: one with sad memories, one bittersweet.

The first was a memento from Grade 4. Now any "base brat" will tell you the story of "the bad move." The move where you don't land on your feet. You are pretty much a  pariah until you move agin. CFB Trenton was my bad move and Grade 4 sucked ass. I was able to chuck out hte momento without any bitterness. I realise that "the bad move" actually, in the long run... well it made me who I am. Maybe a bit too sensitive, but I am more outgoing. I appretiate friendship more. So for good or bad: the bad move is now behind me.

The bittersweet memory was a picture (or rather a series of pics). It was from when I was going into grade 10 (I think...).  Me and my BF, Sheri went camping with her family... a tradition since we were 5 years old. I had moved away years previous, but we were SO close when we were kids we still kept in touch. (In fact... the pain of separating from her may have contributed to "the bad move" see above).

Now the thing about Sheri was that she was always the pretty one. The one that always got the guy. She was more outgoing (and if you've met me... I'm pretty freaking outgoing!) And she turned into that girl that would dump her friends for the boy.  So there we were... at camp. And ... we met a guy. And guess what? For the first time in my life... he liked... ME! (mememememememe).  Yep! I have a picture of the first guy that I knew had a bit of a crush on yours truly...  and I liked him back. (And they call it... PUPPY LOVE!!!) 

So, what happened on this trip? Well, you pervs, nothing between Andrew and I (holy crap... I can't believe I remember his name) nothing at all.  But my relationship with Sheri was forever changed. Instead of being happy that I (finally) met someone who liked me, she pulled a big suck. Would be all moody, hoping that Andrew (and I?) would go to her... oh what's wrong? Anything I can do?  And thus... be the centre of attention. What I was proud of was that I had enough maturity to a) realise what was going on with my (former) BF b) I didn't make a scene but it was the start of a very important breakup.  I won't go into details about the years after, but that was the start of some major life lessons. I can't change someone I love very much, even though I may despretely wish them to be better. Sometimes you grow apart from those you love. And sometimes those you love have problems that you just can't, and shouldn't get involved in.

I called Sheri about... 2 years ago. I found out that her Mom had died. It was a long itme coming (cancer) and Sheri seemed "okay" well as okay as one is when you lose your  mother.  That conversation though kinda closed the book. I loved the times we had as kids. I loved that relationship. But it's gone and I harbour no bitterness. I hope that she is doing really well. And I think she is... she is doing something that she is totally qualified and perfect for: she is a childcare worker. So... I'm proud of her.

Any momentos that you have had to part ways with recently? Have any fun stories of first love?