Rude Awakening

The place must have been on fire I thought. You see, I sleep very deep. I could sleep through a Hurricane, a Megadeath concert, even an air raid. Last night at about 4:45 am, as I was deeply trying to rest off the REM's, there was a loud knock on the door. This was followed by a loud knock at my daughter's and son's bedroom windows. There is a thick hedge under my window, so it was saved from the beating. Of course, I had no idea what was happening because I was playing R6V and pwning all who dared to challenge me...muhhahahahah! My wife, who is a light sleeper with ears like a K9, was up from the first swing of the fist upon the door. She had begun runing around yelling, "there's some crackhead knocking on the door."

Faintly, the pwnage started to fade and the sounds of reality began to come into my brain. I heard my wife rushing around yelling about the door, then I heard my son say something, then one of my daughters. I didn't know what was going on but it seemed like something big. It must be a fire I thought at first. How come they just ain't yelling "FIRE." I better get up,these people need my leadership, obviously. As I slowly opened my eyes and the last of R6V glory faded, my wife says to me, "There's someone at the door." I wondered if they new who it was and contimplated asking but I quickly realized they hadn't even looked through the peephole yet. I threw on some shorts, grabbed a dirty shirt from the laundry basket into my hand and charged for the front . Forgeting to put on my shirt or look through the peephole, I just threw open the door. It was the police.

The Sheriff's Dept. to be exact. He very quickly stated (with true meaning) I'm VERY sorry to wake you up. There were several cars broken into and your Jeep was one of them. My wife and I are busy looking for a house. We are planning to get one this year but currently we live in a 3 bedroom apartment. It's a pretty nice place to live, mostly quiet but has had some issues with vehicles and screened patio's. It's gated but of course, they arn't worth the steel it took to make them. I live in Tampa, Florida but these days it's more like Tennessee than Tampa. Temperatures were in the mid fourties and it was raining when I jounted outside barefoot, trying to put on my shirt rightside in. "Is it the black Jeep or the Blue Jeep," I asked. "I'm not sure, lets go see," he said.

I drive a blue, 1997 Jeep Wrangler with oversized rims and oversized tires and love it. It's been broken into twice before and once I had several CD's stolen. I learned then not to keep anything in it I didn't want stolen. Two years ago I replaced the top and door skins so I decided not to even lock the doors. I didn't want to give these jackasses reason to have to "break" and enter. Of course, people who break into cars, not to steal the car but rumage what's inside it, are stupid anyway. You can get away with what? Some cd's, some car stereo's... maybe some idiot will leave a laptop in one. Really, it's nothing worth the jail time you spend when you get caught. Needless to say, about 6 months ago, someone took a blade to my new drivers side skin in, order to rumage through the inside. My neighbors boyfriend ran off the kid, who didn't get anything naturally, but the damage was done. Yes, the door was unlocked. Moron bastard child!

The deputy walked me over to my blue Wrangler and showed the cut in the drivers side window. Heh, I've been meaning to put some box tape over it. "That's old damage," I told him. "Okay then," he said as he shown his light into the cab, exposing tossed around papers and an open glove box, "It's just 'trespassing' instead of 'breaking and entering'. " "Yeah", I agreed. "They broke into two vans and a Beetle," he said, I've found the owner of the vans, do you know who owns the beetle?" I did. It's an early 70's model with a 'for sale' sign on it. I've contemplated trying to buy it for my son, but given the amount of time the guy spends working on it, along with the 'residue' that I'm sure permeates the interior, I decided it wasn't worth the trouble

The rain started to fall heavier, the adreneline was wearing off and I was barefoot. Time to get back inside. It took a couple of recorded CSI: Las Vegas episodes to get back to sleep. Ah, finally... pwnage!

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Here's something I found on the web I thought was funny.

Heh, my sexy never left. Just ask Mrs Aachmed. :wink:

-Jim