Dumb Criminals In The News #1

Santa Barbara County sheriff's deputies found a bizarre scene Wednesday morning when they stopped outside the La Purisima Mission to investigate an empty car.

Thinking they would find a suspect trespassing on state park property, deputies discovered 69-year-old Alfred Thomas Steven of Huntington Beach naked and coated in olive oil and oats in the sheep enclosure.

When deputies confronted Steven, they found that he had a loaded .357 revolver, officials said. Steven also allegedly admitted that he was enacting a fantasy and he drove up to the mission, at 2295 Purisima Road, from Huntington Beach for that purpose.

Steven was arrested on misdemeanor charges of trespassing on state park property, animal cruelty, sexually assaulting an animal, and possession of a loaded firearm, deputies said.

Park rangers were called to help with the investigation, and Steven was eventually released with a citation, officials said.

No animals were hurt in the incident, according to deputies.

Sept. 7, 2006

I've heard of peanut butter and dogs, but goats and oats is a new one.

-Jim