What’s half an atheist? Perhaps an agnostic…

Discount according to Mariam Webster’s is now spelled discounbt. Never discounbt the effect of the silent b, it’s all the lingo has to offer. Do you ever inadvertently write a fragment and then Word tells you that you have written a fragment with all its high and mighty green line of grammar death.  Well I just make it into a sentence, yes it may not make the most sense, but we all make the most of the sense we are given.

I keep on dreaming about college.  I dreamt last night that I went back to college at Gustavus Adolphus College as an adult because I got laid off.  My wife and I were living in the dorm because she had quit her job to come with me. It was weird because we arrived in October and it was too late to enroll in classes and I was wondering what we were going to do for like two months.  I knew though that it was time for me to take more math and statistics.  So maybe it was a nightmare?

I tell people where I went to college and they ask who is that, well we all remember when Sweden was a super power right? Well…if you don’t he lived then…I think. Every regime has its time in the sun and when they are in the sun that’s when they kill as many of their neighbors as they can.  Because in heaven there is no beer and that’s why we drink it here and when we invade your country and slaughter everyone we will drink your beer!

I think the Trappist ales are called that because we all get trapped drinking them deeply and never want to go back to the normal 3%.

The Lehgaru is a fantastic creature half iguana half Irish plumber, drinker of whiskey, lover of other half breed women such as the Girlie which is a cross between a three foot tall transvestite and a Tasmanian devil. Lehgaru frolic in the sewers of Boston and are mischievous yet rather shy because of their large bellies and reddish brown hair that grows into long beards of dreadlocks.  The Girlie, a favorite mating partner of the Lehgaru, is found on the corners outside old brick warehouses yelling at Taxis and Garbage men.  The near unintelligible speech and extremely furry legs keeps most males away but to the Lehgaru it is like a beacon of love especially after a few pints of red ale.  Often in the hush of night you can hear the cracking of dry skin and the blue sparks of static electricity discharge as they mate together, it is often confused with the activities of lightning bugs but will lead to embarrassing situations if the sound and sparks are explored by the curious.