Sometimes in Skyrim I wish I had a Volkswagen…

When you burst from your covered womb of quilts and pillows and rush in your natural state from bed to shower, do you think about how many people think about what you do when you’re not at work?  In the computer game Halo Reach there is this option that lets you know how many times people have snapped little digital shots of you.  DO you want to know how many photos out in world there are of you…I guess that number might soon be out there for you.  Let’s go further, what if you could find out how many times people thought of you and who, or what they wondered about…that’s a scary thought.  So if Jim who sits across the cubical from you is thinking about you day and night, about how he would dress you up and down, or maybe Sara down in accounting would like to tie you up, throw you in a deep freezer and send you on your merry way into another concrete foundation, or maybe that elephant at the zoo would like to beam you up to the mother ship for the mother of all…well you know where I would go with that…

 

I think we should go further, what if you could find out the number of times aliens have probed you while you were sleeping or the number of spiders that have crawled into your mouth or the pounds of human skin and hair you’ve sucked into your lungs or the number of people hiding in your house or the number of times you’ve been vaporize and reconstituted into a bowling ball scuttling down the cosmic quantum lane into a strike of no consequence in a series of turkeys…I’m getting lost here

 

I think about the movie Anchor Man, sure was funny: half man half anchor, could have been about the grocery store at the end of the mall or maybe a captain on a ship full of pirate prisoners where they are not only escapees but they are a family and how they learn to live at sea on the lamb and figure out each other at the same time yes they have their differences (white collar crime versus hardened killers and rapists) but with the help of their captain the anchor of their new fledgling family they survive as only an ABC family adventure meets HBO’s OZ meets Little House on the Prairie meets National Geographic Prison Reality Series meets Sesame Street meets MS NBC Sexual Predator stings meets Deadliest Catch meets MacNeil/Lehrer News Hour could.

 

Ole Ole,

Ole Ole,

Ole Ole,

Ole Ole,

Ole Ole,

Ole Ole…come on you know the words…