I prefer words with enemies to words with friends.

I feel that carnivores get a bad rap; I mean they aren’t the ones waging a genocidal war on plants. How humane is it to rip a being from its leisurely resting place and chop it to bits? It’s like going into an old folk’s home (where they are all plants anyways), and then ripping those contently little wrinkled potatoes from their comfy resting places.  You throw them in burlap sacks and toss them into a cold dirty flat bed.  And then you sift through them, if they have spots or are fuzzy then you pitch them into the garbage; at least I say, put them back in the ground! It’s where they belong!

I have a beer belly. I think however that if I were to imagine what a beer belly should be, I think of a cold wet receptacle like a wine box for beer, sure there are kegs, but can you cuddle with a keg? I know there are those real dolls.  I know you need a frame and a good structure, but why not fill one with beer? How many times have you laid back in bed or next to your wife on the couch and thought why can’t I store cold beer in her…well that wouldn’t keep it cold nor would it be easily dispensable…that’s why I think a real doll with real beer is the way to go.  However I still think maybe a giant golden Buddha would be best and I could install a spigot in its belly.  I love Buddha.

I tend to latch onto people I admire and tease them relentlessly. I think to myself: how far should I go before my endless flattery through teasing becomes something more, such as an obsession or maybe something even more such as getting a real doll and store beer in them.  If you see my previous post about this cool guy I know, Singlewing…well maybe PBR…I try not to confuse people who are not involved in the clan but be still my heart.

If I were a millionaire, would it be wrong to get real dolls of all my friends and people I know and create a mini city…I was watching Star Trek…I feel like eating a cheetah…I have the most mundane dreams…they need more tigers at McDonalds…I eat a lot of yogurt…my hit song is about pancakes…I get aroused when I see a steel mill, it could be the flames or maybe the steel…

Highlight your face, it’s the weekend dammit!!!!