I am purposefully offensive for your entertainment.

I fear death and that is good because I have things to live for. I also fear green and black colored Halloween themed cotton candy because it’s spooky and smells faintly of evil. I fear choking on bbq, but only because I like it. I fear that if I bathed in rendered duck fat, I might develop a taste for it or something sinister might develop a taste for me such as heart disease or the spirit of the west.

If I was a dentist, I think I would have a problem with nitrous oxide; well it wouldn’t be a problem for me.

So I read the disclaimers and notices about the Infinity Challenge for Halo 4 by Virgin. It says all of the stuff about second accounts and cheating, etc., etc. You know people are cheating and why do they think they can win? People are stupid.

I starting to care less and enjoy life more. My New Year’s resolution is to start throwing more raw eggs, I mean everyone needs a good random emulsifier every once in a while. If I shot a raw egg up in the air about a mile, I don’t think I care where it comes down. Furthermore I wish I had a big hamster ball and I would fill it with egg whites and then I would tool around town in it.

Meringue.