Have a great day, it could be your last.

No, it will be your last….muhhhahahahahahaha!  Anyways, I mean it will be your last day of wondering why there is a stapler remover but no people remover in your office or is it just the beginning! Muhahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

 

The only problem I have with kissing my own ass goodbye is that it’s so hairy.

 

I don’t give out death threats, I dole out life threats.

 

For example:

 

Me: “Hey! You just cut me off, I curse you with infinite life! You bastard!”

Anonymous Bastard: “I don’t want to life forever!”

Me: “Oh but you will!  You will watch your loved ones get old and die, then be depressed like that stupid Ann Vampire.  Then eventually you will forget and make new friends and family…only to then loose them too.  Either you will learn to appreciate life through an endless cycle of death and rebirth or you will go mad!”

Anonymous Bastard: “No, please, I don’t want to live forever!”

Me: “Ha, the real joke is I have no power to do this, so the joke is further from the truth than you think.”

Anonymous Bastard: “You’re an idiot!”

Me: “You’re an anonymous bastard! I still hope you live a long and miserable life while trying to be successful at organic farming!”