Gordo has a big baahdonkadonk!

Mortal Kombat really should be a form of mediation in the workplace.  Work wouldn’t be so hellish if all of your co-workers were in Fight Club.  Nothing makes me feel better than slamming a ream of copy paper into the face of someone who thinks they can do my job better than them and then they block my ream attack with flying sharpie and rabbit paper clip sting.  Office Kung Fu, Paper Tiger, Coffee Making, Microwave surprise,  Chocolate Trash Can Mystery, Random Words Strung Together in a List Separated by Commas, Reports from No Where and No One, Meetings that Boggle your Mind and You Ask Why am I even Here Can’t This Person Make Their Own Decisions…I mean it’s like they go to the Doctor’s Office and they do a CAT scan and find out there is zero brain activity…the doctor says, “Jack, it’s clear that your problem is that you have no brain activity, it’s a mystery to me how you can even function.”  Jack replies, “That’s exactly what my co-workers say.”

 

So when your boss says finish this report and you send him the final copy, if you hear the words “FATALITY!!!” you probably should clean out your desk because either you’re about to be fired for calling your boss’s wife a whore at the holiday party or the company is going bankrupt because you’ve been syphoning funds into your personal accounts to take your boss’s wife to Sandals resorts.

 

Baa says the sheep, baaa says that guy in the meeting, baaa you say as you eat his brains after you’ve gone insane and killed him in the janitorial closet, that’s okay no one will miss him.  Baaa says your stomach after you realize that eating human brains is no picnic for your GI tract, Baaa says your colon, Baaa says your wife as she cleans the bathroom, Baaa says the police when they find the carcass in the closet and find you attacking your keyboard with a meat cleaver and still wearing a blood soaked shirt.  Baaa says the sheep inside your head for are you not the real sheep all along, who do you think has been making all those baaaaaa sounds?  You wonder what your own brain tastes like, but then why not just experiment on all the other sheep….baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa………..baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…..banana!!!  I’m totally craving a good fake frozen banana daiquiri!