Let the Drama Begin!

So Matt and I decide to go to my parents' house for Christmas. My mom asks, So you'll be in the basement and we'll put Matt ont eh 3rd floor? I said no, he can just stay with me. She asks waspishly "And why is that?" I'm thinking to myself "because sex is easier that way" but instead I answered "because he stays with me most of the time anyway". She huffed and stammered a bit (this is a very conservative woman, ladies and gentlemen) then said, well I'll have to talk it over with your father.

I'm gonna be 32 in a week and I still have to get permission??

Thing #2: my parents flew into town this weekend to see my brother, and we all decided to have lunch together so they could meet Matt. It took about a dozen phone calls and emails but we finally worked out when and where we were going to meet, but my mother had a rotten attitude about every single restaurant I suggested. She finally begrudgingly accepts one. Prior to arriving at the restaurant my mom sends me (another) text saying: "I haven't disclosed the details of your living arrangement with your father and brother, so today would not be a good day to mention it." My response: "living arrangements? I live alone." Her response: "Oh. I see. I understoof different from our previous conversations."
I didn't respond because I was so livid, I didn't think an answer of any kind would be appropriate. So anyway, we meet at the restaurant. My mom hands me my birthday present and card, mentioned how hard it was to find, and how they carried it all over Europe for weeks and weeks, so she hopes I enjoy it. (Thanks the the side order of Guilt, Mom. Just what I wanted, to go along with the gift.)

The ENTIRE meal she wore a sour-puss face and was barely pleasant enough to have a conversation with, much less actually get to know my boyfriend. I found her attitude barely tolerable so I tried to avoid all conversation with her. It's a good thing we live almost 900 miles apart. At the end of the meal she says a brief goodbye, shook Matt's hand and said "it'll be nice to get to know you sometime. Maybe we'll see you again." I was so proud of Matt- he bit his tongue the entire time. He also had several gin & tonics, which probably helped. My dad was cool about everything though. Too bad he sat at the other end of the table.

So Matt got to meet my parents, brother, sister, brother in law and two nephews all at once. I'm lucky he's still speaking to me. My brother was cool with him luckily, and actually engaged him in conversation. My brother in law warned him that I'm a black sheep and he better watch out for me. (as in keep me out of trouble). Thanks Joe. 'Preciate it. Jeez!! It's my turn next week to meet his family at Thanksgiving. Matt is taking me to my favorite restaurant to celebrate my birthday next week. :) He says his family has no weirdness like mine does, so I guess I'll have an easy time of it at his house. Yay.

So here's the question: If we end up going to my parents' for xmas, do I insist on staying in the same room (I've been married and divorced, I've slept with men before, I think they know my purity is long gone), do I cancel the trip altogether because I know it'll be weird (we haven't bought the tickets yet), or do I respect her wishes in her house, despite their ridiculousness?