Drost
Shared on Fri, 07/07/2006 - 11:57I have to write mini-reviews of all the movies opening/opened on a given weekend for my column. Heres the current batch:
Now Playing
A Scanner Darkly: Based on a story from sci-fi author Philip K. Dick, this future tale has Keanu Reeves being recruited by a government to spy on his friends. Because in the future, not only will they tap your phones, they’ll tap your friends. In the name of terror and the war on drugs. This one was shot normally, then animated over the film, so it’s going to look a little weird.
Superman Returns: Set after the events of Superman II, Superman returns to Metropolis to begin putting back the pieces of his life. He finds Lois with a kid and Lex Luthor up to new tricks. Or so I’ve been told. I read that somewhere, so I have no idea if that’s actually the story.
The Devil Wears Prada: A young woman scores a job as assistant to one of New York’s most successful and feared fashion magazine editors. Sounds lame to me, but the two minutes of the movie they’re showing as a trailer were actually kind of funny. You didn’t hear that from me.
Kinky Boots: (at The Circle) Charlie takes over the family shoe factory and has a number of challenges to face. The workforce wonders if he’s competent. The business, because of its size, is in danger because it can’t compete. And then he meets a cabaret dancer who’s into erotic boots…
Waist Deep: A two-time felon just released from prison has his car jacked with his son in the back seat. If he wants his son back, he’s got to find a way to pay the ransom while staying out of jail. If he goes back, he goes back for life.
Nacho Libre: Jack Black stars as a priest who dresses up in stretchy pants and enters the professional wrestling ring to help put food on the plates of starving orphans. Or something. Written and directed by the guy behind Napoleon Dynamite.
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift: No.
Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties: Are you kidding me? Did the first turd make enough money for there to be a sequel? I mean, seriously, are you kidding me? And how did they con Bill Murray into this a second time?
The Omen: A remake remade just for the gimmick of opening a movie about the antichrist on June 6, 2006 (666). I mean, that’s about the only reason I can think of to remake this. But then they did get a pretty decent cast for the remake. Julia Stiles and Liev Schreiber aren’t b-list talent.
A Prairie Home Companion: The latest from director Robert Altman, A Prairie Home Companion details the last night of a popular radio show, as written by Garrison Keillor. As usual for Altman flicks, it bears a cast of thousands. But it’s a good cast so here’s hopin’.
X-men: The Last Stand: Someone has found a way to “cure” the mutants of their powers. Some of them have no desire to be cured. It’s the beginning, and end, of an all out war between the good guys, the bad guys, and the humans. I really, really, really hope this doesn’t suck. Because then I’d have to go find Superman Returns director Bryan Singer and kick him in the junk.
Mission: Impossible 3: IMF Agent Ethan Hunt has to save the world and his girlfriend from a rogue arms dealer with an Oscar. Not a bad way to spend an early summer afternoon.
Poseidon: A cruise-liner gets hit by a rogue wave and capsizes and some of the passengers are forced to race to the ship’s hull to escape a watery fate.
The Proposition: Set at the end of the bushranger era, the epic Australian story concerns family, loyalty and betrayal. Good movie.
Just My Luck: Lindsey Lohan plays poor little rich girl. It’s quite a stretch.
The Da Vinci Code: An American professor and a Paris cryptographer get wrapped up in the quest for the Holy Grail after a Louvre curator gets murdered. It’s not what happens in the film that makes it interesting. It’s what the characters in the film talk about.
Over the Hedge: A clever raccoon cons a bunch of naïve forest animals into helping him steal food from the suburbs to pay back a debt he owes to a big bear with a mean streak.
Hard Candy: A 14-year-old girl and a 32-year-old photographer meet on the internet, then agree to have a coffee. It’s an uncomfortable situation to begin with, and it doesn’t get any easier from there. You won’t be able to keep your eyes off it. It’s like watching a car wreck.
The Break-Up: A depressing story about a couple’s break up sprinkled not-liberally enough with laughs. Don’t take a date. Hell, don’t even take your spouse.
Brick: An old-fashioned noir detective story set in a high school. It’s the tale of a kid who goes looking for his ex-girlfriend after she calls for help and finds himself knee deep in the criminal underground. Solid movie.
District B13: A cop and a criminal must join forces to steal a bomb away from a drug dealer and save a future version of Paris. Don’t go see it for the story. See it for the killer chase scenes, which are all on foot, and martial arts.
Cars: The latest Pixar flick depicts the exploits of hotshot racecar Lightning McQueen who on the way to the championship race, gets sidelined in the forgotten town of Radiator Springs. Get off the interstate, Ben Stone . . .
An Inconvenient Truth: A documentary of Al Gore’s crusade to educate the world about the danger of global warming. It’s a wake up call.
The Lake House: Two people two years apart in time fall in love with each other by exchanging letters though a mailbox with time-shifting properties.
Water: Set in the 1930s during the rise of the independence struggles against British colonial rule, the film examines the plight of a group of widows forced into poverty at a temple in the holy city of Varanasi, focusing mainly on a relationship between one of the widows and a man who is from a lower caste and a follower of Mahatma Gandhi.
The Lost City: In Havana, Cuba in the late 1950s, a wealthy family, one of whose sons is a prominent nightclub owner, is caught in the violent transition from the oppressive regime of Batista to the Marxist government of Fidel Castro. Castros regime ultimately leads the nightclub owner to flee to New York.
The Wild: An adolescent lion is accidentally shipped from the New York Zoo to Africa. Now running free, his zoo pals must put aside their differences to help bring him back. (Kind of Disney’s version of Madagascar.)
Click: An over-worked architect gets handed a “universal” remote that’ll let him skip over the parts of his life he doesn’t like. That’s great for him until the remote starts choosing which parts to skip without his consent. It could’ve been good. It’s just not.
Stolen: It’s a documentary about the 1990 art theft from the Gardner museum in Boston. Compelling story if not too fantastically made.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest: More mythical pirate mayhem featuring the same goofy cast of characters from the first film. This one’s a little different than the last. Less funny. More adventure. A change for the better if you ask me.
Now Playing
A Scanner Darkly: Based on a story from sci-fi author Philip K. Dick, this future tale has Keanu Reeves being recruited by a government to spy on his friends. Because in the future, not only will they tap your phones, they’ll tap your friends. In the name of terror and the war on drugs. This one was shot normally, then animated over the film, so it’s going to look a little weird.
Superman Returns: Set after the events of Superman II, Superman returns to Metropolis to begin putting back the pieces of his life. He finds Lois with a kid and Lex Luthor up to new tricks. Or so I’ve been told. I read that somewhere, so I have no idea if that’s actually the story.
The Devil Wears Prada: A young woman scores a job as assistant to one of New York’s most successful and feared fashion magazine editors. Sounds lame to me, but the two minutes of the movie they’re showing as a trailer were actually kind of funny. You didn’t hear that from me.
Kinky Boots: (at The Circle) Charlie takes over the family shoe factory and has a number of challenges to face. The workforce wonders if he’s competent. The business, because of its size, is in danger because it can’t compete. And then he meets a cabaret dancer who’s into erotic boots…
Waist Deep: A two-time felon just released from prison has his car jacked with his son in the back seat. If he wants his son back, he’s got to find a way to pay the ransom while staying out of jail. If he goes back, he goes back for life.
Nacho Libre: Jack Black stars as a priest who dresses up in stretchy pants and enters the professional wrestling ring to help put food on the plates of starving orphans. Or something. Written and directed by the guy behind Napoleon Dynamite.
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift: No.
Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties: Are you kidding me? Did the first turd make enough money for there to be a sequel? I mean, seriously, are you kidding me? And how did they con Bill Murray into this a second time?
The Omen: A remake remade just for the gimmick of opening a movie about the antichrist on June 6, 2006 (666). I mean, that’s about the only reason I can think of to remake this. But then they did get a pretty decent cast for the remake. Julia Stiles and Liev Schreiber aren’t b-list talent.
A Prairie Home Companion: The latest from director Robert Altman, A Prairie Home Companion details the last night of a popular radio show, as written by Garrison Keillor. As usual for Altman flicks, it bears a cast of thousands. But it’s a good cast so here’s hopin’.
X-men: The Last Stand: Someone has found a way to “cure” the mutants of their powers. Some of them have no desire to be cured. It’s the beginning, and end, of an all out war between the good guys, the bad guys, and the humans. I really, really, really hope this doesn’t suck. Because then I’d have to go find Superman Returns director Bryan Singer and kick him in the junk.
Mission: Impossible 3: IMF Agent Ethan Hunt has to save the world and his girlfriend from a rogue arms dealer with an Oscar. Not a bad way to spend an early summer afternoon.
Poseidon: A cruise-liner gets hit by a rogue wave and capsizes and some of the passengers are forced to race to the ship’s hull to escape a watery fate.
The Proposition: Set at the end of the bushranger era, the epic Australian story concerns family, loyalty and betrayal. Good movie.
Just My Luck: Lindsey Lohan plays poor little rich girl. It’s quite a stretch.
The Da Vinci Code: An American professor and a Paris cryptographer get wrapped up in the quest for the Holy Grail after a Louvre curator gets murdered. It’s not what happens in the film that makes it interesting. It’s what the characters in the film talk about.
Over the Hedge: A clever raccoon cons a bunch of naïve forest animals into helping him steal food from the suburbs to pay back a debt he owes to a big bear with a mean streak.
Hard Candy: A 14-year-old girl and a 32-year-old photographer meet on the internet, then agree to have a coffee. It’s an uncomfortable situation to begin with, and it doesn’t get any easier from there. You won’t be able to keep your eyes off it. It’s like watching a car wreck.
The Break-Up: A depressing story about a couple’s break up sprinkled not-liberally enough with laughs. Don’t take a date. Hell, don’t even take your spouse.
Brick: An old-fashioned noir detective story set in a high school. It’s the tale of a kid who goes looking for his ex-girlfriend after she calls for help and finds himself knee deep in the criminal underground. Solid movie.
District B13: A cop and a criminal must join forces to steal a bomb away from a drug dealer and save a future version of Paris. Don’t go see it for the story. See it for the killer chase scenes, which are all on foot, and martial arts.
Cars: The latest Pixar flick depicts the exploits of hotshot racecar Lightning McQueen who on the way to the championship race, gets sidelined in the forgotten town of Radiator Springs. Get off the interstate, Ben Stone . . .
An Inconvenient Truth: A documentary of Al Gore’s crusade to educate the world about the danger of global warming. It’s a wake up call.
The Lake House: Two people two years apart in time fall in love with each other by exchanging letters though a mailbox with time-shifting properties.
Water: Set in the 1930s during the rise of the independence struggles against British colonial rule, the film examines the plight of a group of widows forced into poverty at a temple in the holy city of Varanasi, focusing mainly on a relationship between one of the widows and a man who is from a lower caste and a follower of Mahatma Gandhi.
The Lost City: In Havana, Cuba in the late 1950s, a wealthy family, one of whose sons is a prominent nightclub owner, is caught in the violent transition from the oppressive regime of Batista to the Marxist government of Fidel Castro. Castros regime ultimately leads the nightclub owner to flee to New York.
The Wild: An adolescent lion is accidentally shipped from the New York Zoo to Africa. Now running free, his zoo pals must put aside their differences to help bring him back. (Kind of Disney’s version of Madagascar.)
Click: An over-worked architect gets handed a “universal” remote that’ll let him skip over the parts of his life he doesn’t like. That’s great for him until the remote starts choosing which parts to skip without his consent. It could’ve been good. It’s just not.
Stolen: It’s a documentary about the 1990 art theft from the Gardner museum in Boston. Compelling story if not too fantastically made.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest: More mythical pirate mayhem featuring the same goofy cast of characters from the first film. This one’s a little different than the last. Less funny. More adventure. A change for the better if you ask me.
- Drost's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Submitted by th3midnighter on Fri, 07/07/2006 - 16:10