So Fucked Up

OMG! Things have gotten so fucked up over the last week.  So on Saturday morning I got a phone call from my mother at 3:40 AM telling me that my uncle died.  So I rushed over there only to find out that he was lying in the middle of the living room floor.  Mom neglected to give me that piece of information.  So I am there with my daughter and she totally freaks out.  Understandable of course.  We spend most of the morning over there waiting for the coroner and comfortating my grandmother.  Then I go home and crash and then come back.  So my entire weekend is devoted to family.  My cousin and I are elected to make all the arrangements.  On SundayI was pretty well mentally shot.  So a friend takes me out for a drink and to talk.  So while I'm dealing with this and trying to maintain my sanity my girlfriend sends me the following text...

WE NEED TO TALK! NEVERMIND NOT WORTH IT.

So of course I call her.  She refuses to tell me what it was about.  Then she asks if I've been completely honest with her about everything.  I say yes and ask what it's about again.  Again she refuses to tell me what she's talking about.  Then says she just wants to drop it.  So I hang up the phone but I am still dumbfounded.  How to you accuse someone of something, not tell them what it is, and then decide to just drop it.  The following day she was right back to her usual texting me non stop telling me that she mises me and loves me and stuff like that.  I know it sounds cute but it's so annoying.  I mean damn.  I can't deal with her constant need for reassurance.  Always needing me to tell her I miss her and I love her and blah, blah blah.  I need someone who has some self confidence in themself.  Someone who doesn't need me to constantly validate them.

So all this week she has been texting me all day with random stuff.  I told her I was home sick and she still kept texting and getting offended when I didn't respond back right away.  Aggravating!  So I finally decided that I needed to break it off with her.  It was just too much for me.  I talk to all my friends for advice.  They all agree that I need to just call her and do it.  So I call her up tonight to tell her what's up.  I try one final time to ask her what that text message was about.  She still refuses to talk about it.  So I am about to tell her that I think we should split.  Then she lays this bomb on me.  She tells me that her doctor told her that her cancer has spread.  It's stage 3 and she only has 12 - 18 months to love.

WTF!

So how the fuck do you break up with someone when they just told you that?  So all night tonight I've been trying to work that out.  We talked for a while then she tells me that she refuses to do any of the treatments that the doctors want her to do.  I tell her I can't talk to her about it anymore.   The fact that she isn't going to try and live really bothered me.  Anyway I end  up finally telling her the truth.  That I had planned to break things off before she told me all of this and that I wasn't sure how to work it out now.  That's the short version anyway.  Her response was to tell me to loose her number and tell me I was inconsiderate.  I guess that was just the anger talking.  I mean would she have really rather I stayed with her out of guilt?  That doesn't seem like the right thing to do.

I realized after she told me her news that I couldn't win no matter what I did.  It's all so fucked up but now I'm single again.  Life shouldn't be this hard.