Nightmare

Back sometime in June of this year my mother called me to tell me that my father had a tumor in his lung and another suspicious spot on his kidney. Turns out that the spot on his kidney was stage 3 kidney cancer. On July 16th my father had successful surgery that removed his left kidney with the tumor in it. He recovered for 4 weeks which is what he was told the recovery time would be and then met with an oncologist. They wanted him to get another scan to see what the tumor in his lung did. When he got the results back which were sometime in August he was told that the tumor not only grew but now he had several smaller ones in his lung as well as the main one. The Dr then told him that he should wait 2 months and then have another scan again. No one was comfortable with this option so my father switched Dr's and now went to Sloan Memorial Kettering in NYC. He went there in early September and after some tests they determined that the cancer had spread to his adrenal gland in addition to what was already in his lung. So they set him up to start taking this clinical kidney cancer drug which should hopefully eventually put him into remission. The only thing with a clinical drug is that you have to go through a shitload of tests since the medicine is free otherwise it would have cost him $5000-$10000 a month so on Monday this week he went back into the city to have all these tests done he was there from like 7 am till 6pm and they got a call Tuesday that one of his tests failed and he now has a legion on the right front of his brain. So yesterday he had to trek back into the city for a battery of NEW tests.  Needless to say the original treatment plan is on hold because of this and he will either need surgery or radiation. I thought the worst was over when the kidney was removed boy was I wrong it seems like every week a new crappier development comes along that makes the last look like nothing. I am not naive and know he won't live forever but didn't expect to be going through this at only 42. In the last 5 years I have lost all my grandparents, my father in law and my dog now what else? I don't know if I should scream or cry and if either will do any good. Just had to get it off my chest I guess this has been a lot to bear these past 3 months.

Dis °o°