On the lighter side

 Another entry from the same book that talked about farts.  Excerpt from the book, “Habitus Disgustica: The Encyclopedia of annoying, Rude and Unpleasant Behavior,” by Ian Whitelaw

Incredible urges to chew inedible objects

A good percentage of the world’s population is fixated orally, one way or another.  Perhaps this is a consequence for over-indulgent breast-feeding routines.  Perhaps it was a too-rigid bottle schedule.

Whatever the case, many people find they simply have to have something stuck in their mouths.

If smoking is perceived as too dangerous, or fingernails too precious, the perpetrator will instead bite, suck or chew some kind of foreign object.  It looks ridiculous and spreads bacteria, but these people are compelled to behave in this manner.

Common Objects

Habitual chewing is a specialty of young children.  It starts in the cot with babies sucking on a pacifier or the corner of a sheet or towel.  Teeth grow and start to hurt, sucking turns to chewing, and the pattern is set-in some cases for life.

Some even keep the towel (or “comforter”) beside them until it literally falls to pieces.  In any given schoolroom, it is possible to see all manner of objects in mouths-pens, pencils, erasers, plastic bottle tops, in fact, anything with that bit of “give” that makes it a pleasure to such or chew.

Some wanton suckers prefer textiles, leading to crumpled, spittle-soaked cuffs and sleeves.

Once in the workplace, eating clothes is no longer an acceptable option (though some diehards continue at it) at which point the wide range of appetizing stationery supplies comes into play.

Objects as humble as an ordinary paperclip can provide hours of harmless fun, but the pen remains the perennial favorite.

When I quit smoking I was very aware of the absence of the cigarette in my hand and my mouth.  To help get over the "oral fixation" of smoking I would chew on straws.  I never was into gum.  But, it seemed to help, especially when I was working at the bar or just sitting having a drink.  It's interesting to see others who do not smoke constantly have pens, pencils or a toothpick in their mouth.

Keep on Go!