Devonsangel
Shared on Wed, 01/31/2007 - 09:05The following is an excerpt from the book "Habitus Disgustica: The Encyclopedia of Annoying, Rude, and Unpleasant Behavior," by Ian Whitelaw.
Flatulence is a fact-a biological necessity, according to some sources- that everyone in the world experiences on a regular basis. And yet braking wind in public remains taboo in most countries and cultures. This doesn't stop some unscrupulous individuals, accidentally or otherwise, from cutting loose in the presence of others.
BIOLOGY OF A FART
The average human releases between one and three pints of "flatus" in 12-25 episodes throughout the day. The primary constituents of this are oxygen, nitrogen, hydrogen, carbon dioxide and methane-although sometimes a chemical reaction will also produce hydrogen sulfide. The latter is particularly unpleasant, as it is responsible for the rotten egg smell.
The noises commonly associated with flatulence are caused not by a flapping of the posterior, as commonly thought (unless the culprit is sitting heavily and pressing the buttocks together), but by vibrations of the anus itself. The sound varies depending on the tightness of the sphincter and the velocity of the gas being expelled, as well as other factors like moisture and body fat.
LESSER-KNOWN FARTS
Uproarious laughter can bring its own penalties for the farter, potentially leading to a loss of muscular control and a bout of further immoderate farting or worse.
THE WET FART
Known is some circles as "following through," the wet fart comes about when the delicate nerves of the rectum fail to correctly identify the composition of the material to be passed.
What was initially thought to be an ordinary fart (often, for some complex physiological reason, a silent one) proves to be partly or wholly composed of matter that is somewhat more substantial than hot air.
When this occurs in public, the effect can be devastating, although intestinal upsets such as amebic dysentery render the event entirely excusable.
THE COMBUSTIBLE FART
The principle constituents of flatus are highly flammable, and being the experimental creatures that humans are, some are tempted to set light to it, especially at parties.
While this practice is not recommended, one beneficial side effect is that the act of burning the gas seems to remove any unpleasant odors.
FARTING IN BED
When shared with a significant other, farting in bed can sound the death knell for a relationship.
That having been said, there are some couples who derive pleasure from deliberately trapping each other under the bed sheets and forcing their partner to inhale the noxious cloud; a form of entertainment known as "Dutch Oven."
Flatulence is a fact-a biological necessity, according to some sources- that everyone in the world experiences on a regular basis. And yet braking wind in public remains taboo in most countries and cultures. This doesn't stop some unscrupulous individuals, accidentally or otherwise, from cutting loose in the presence of others.
BIOLOGY OF A FART
The average human releases between one and three pints of "flatus" in 12-25 episodes throughout the day. The primary constituents of this are oxygen, nitrogen, hydrogen, carbon dioxide and methane-although sometimes a chemical reaction will also produce hydrogen sulfide. The latter is particularly unpleasant, as it is responsible for the rotten egg smell.
The noises commonly associated with flatulence are caused not by a flapping of the posterior, as commonly thought (unless the culprit is sitting heavily and pressing the buttocks together), but by vibrations of the anus itself. The sound varies depending on the tightness of the sphincter and the velocity of the gas being expelled, as well as other factors like moisture and body fat.
LESSER-KNOWN FARTS
Uproarious laughter can bring its own penalties for the farter, potentially leading to a loss of muscular control and a bout of further immoderate farting or worse.
THE WET FART
Known is some circles as "following through," the wet fart comes about when the delicate nerves of the rectum fail to correctly identify the composition of the material to be passed.
What was initially thought to be an ordinary fart (often, for some complex physiological reason, a silent one) proves to be partly or wholly composed of matter that is somewhat more substantial than hot air.
When this occurs in public, the effect can be devastating, although intestinal upsets such as amebic dysentery render the event entirely excusable.
THE COMBUSTIBLE FART
The principle constituents of flatus are highly flammable, and being the experimental creatures that humans are, some are tempted to set light to it, especially at parties.
While this practice is not recommended, one beneficial side effect is that the act of burning the gas seems to remove any unpleasant odors.
FARTING IN BED
When shared with a significant other, farting in bed can sound the death knell for a relationship.
That having been said, there are some couples who derive pleasure from deliberately trapping each other under the bed sheets and forcing their partner to inhale the noxious cloud; a form of entertainment known as "Dutch Oven."
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Submitted by doorgunnerjgs on Thu, 02/01/2007 - 07:26
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