The 2o2p is strong in this one.

Not so long ago, 2o2p joined my twitter followlist. I was quite surprised at that, because my twitter-account has cobwebs allover it, squeeks from disuse and is on the verge of collapsing due to neglect. I think that it is well over a year ago that I was here; having left because I felt that as a community, 2o2p had ran it's course at the time. People were beating on eachother, while other people who were holding a spot of importance in my perception where abusing their positions by throwing oil on the fire and then washing their hands off of it out of fear of losing their position.

So what do you do when all you have left to say is nothing good? You walk away, that's what.

What has changed with me then?

Well for one thing, I've been admitted to permanent hospitalization due to a cripling and untreatable disease. Over the last two years I've become disabled and are being kept 'comfortable' on a cocktail of painkillers that will put a horse to sleep, I guess. The disease is so rare that it doesn't even have a name medical people can agree on and less than 1000 people worldwide suffer from it. The kicker is that the number of people that suffer from it on an intensity as I do is probably countable on the fingers of one hand. I must have been a horrible person in a past life.

I'm still very much in love with Tina, the woman I met online in WoW. We have no plans on marriage or otherwise 'officializing' our relationship. We love eachother, enjoy eachother's company and game together. Me being hospitalized for life has put some strain on it, but we're coping. There was a time I was doubting that she was who she said that she was. Meeting someone on the Internet is not without it's intricacies, afterall. Girl's a dude and all that jazz.

Gamingwise, I have left the Xbox side of things. I've build myself a gamingmonster, capable of doing 4k, hooked up to a 4k-ready Dual (Yes, that brand still exists!!) LED monitor. For consolegaming, I moved house to Sony. I now own a PS3, PS4 and a Vita, so you understand I'm laughing my ass off each month as I'm a PSN+ member, making full use of the monthly free ten games. Suffice it to say, my membership and consoles are paying for themselves not only in entertainment, but also in cost-effectiveness.

I love the Vita for it's remoteplay allowing me to play my PS4 titles on the Vita on days where I'm bedridden. My current playlist spans Borderlands the Presequel (PC), Elite Dangerous (PC), old FF-titles (PC, PS3, PS4), Atelier Rorona (and failing at it (PS3)), The Last of Us (Factions suck, but the story I can relive over and over again and the PS4 remaster is awesome-sauce at 1080p (PS3, PS4) and Inquisition (which I think is disappointing, but still worth playing. (PS4)).

After having been a staunch Xboxer since the very first console and Morrowind, I left the Xbox-scene with a heavy heart. Some of you might remember that I was heavily into rythm-gaming. I miss those days. I felt at that time that gaming was going somewhere. New things were being explored and embraced, but it didn't last. Somehow, you're not gaming unless you're a total fucktard in a FPS-arena somewhere and I'm very disappointed that the industry returned to the safety of the Internet's underbelly. I loved the Xbox, and I still do. But I don't see why I should pay €100 more for less over a PS4. 920p, less games, no remote-play, 2 free games instead of 10, inability to pay using direct-banking, all major selling points stripped from it, including big-brother Kinect. What's the point from a gaming point of view? No point I could justify at least.

Well, I took 2o2p's joining my derelict twitter as a 'hey, how are you?' and to be honest, I smiled when I got the notification pop-up. I like to think I still have some friends here, though I'm a bit wary of re-entering the atmosphere 2o2p was engulfed in back then, though I don't know if that vibe still exists. I guess I'll find out over time and if I don't like it, it's all good. I've larger problems than people online being faceless keyboard warriors over computer-games. Way back when, I joined because I wanted to be part of a community for older gamers. I keep leaving because the older gamers are sometimes worse than the timmies and frequently less fun than the timmies. Go figure.

So what is it I'm looking for then? Heck if I know, to be honest. I thought I knew what I wanted all of eight years ago, but that just doesn't exist. At least, not in an electronic environment where people have no accountabillity. Face to face is still different thing. Yet, it's nice to stay at least somewhat in the loop and to talk to people wherever they may be in the world. It never ceases to fascinate me and it keeps drawing me back in. Over the years, I've learned to set my boundaries and to stick to them when online. If Tina is the only thing good I took away from the Internet over the years, then hell yeah, I won 100%. No regrets.

If you feel like renewing your aquaintance with me, I'll be here for now and quite surely more permanently on:

Steam: Merdakah

PSN: bukkie64 (looking for Zen Pinball opponents!! I have reasonable stats sofar that'll boost yours a little.)

XBL: No longer relevant. I don't own any xbox anymore.

Watsap: send me a PM for mobilephone details if you're so inclined.

Game on, people.

-Ed.