Fayettevilles Sinister Underground

The craziest thing has happened to me here in the peaceful city of Fayetteville.  I thought you might be entertained. 

About a week ago, my friend David sets me up on this blind date.  It went great, immediate mutual connection and attraction.  After dinner everything had progressed so quickly we decided to go meet up with some of her friends.  This was about 11pm and David joins up with us. 

Before we leave to head to the bar, Georges on Dickson, she warned me that her best friend since High School, Katie, just came out of the closet and is a lesbian.  As a result, there would be several lesbians around.  At that point what did I care? So I said no problem. 

When we got to the bar, everyone was dancing to this wacked out trumpet / trance stuff.  David, this lesbian named Caitlin and myself were the only ones not dancing.  Caitlin starts begging for compliments by saying stuff like, Im just the loser over here by myself and If I were better looking  Me being me, I complimented her and tried to make her feel better.  She also started asking me how my date was going and saying, Lindsays pretty cool isnt she? and Do you think Lindsays pretty?  At the time I didnt think anything of it. 

So the night goes on and I buy a couple of drinks for David, Lindsay and Caitlin the people Im hanging with.  Georges closes at 2am and we all get ready to leave.  Caitlin comes up to me and asks me for my phone number and says that I should call her and we could go mountain biking or kayaking sometime.  I said sure and took her phone number its Lindsays friend, right? 

Lindsay and I go home.  The next day I found out that Lindsays mom would be in town that weekend and figured that I wouldnt be spending time with her, so I called Caitlin to see if she wanted to go do something Lindsays friend, right? Lesbian, right? No risk, right?  Well, we decide that I should call her later in the week and wed figure something out.  I dont ever get around to calling her back though.

Time moves on and Lindsay and I end up seeing each other 5 days in a row.  Everything is great, like scary great.  Her mom comes to town on Saturday and they invite me to have a drink with them.  Damon and I meet up with them, have a few drinks and decide we need to go get something to eat.  Lindsay says shell call me when they leave that bar and we can hook back up with them. 

She never calls. 

Turns out that Caitlin and some of the lesbians joined them at the bar.  They were all sitting around casually and Caitlin asks Lindsay if she and I were still dating.  When she finds out we were; she tells everyone around, including Lindsays Mom, the following:

1. I wouldnt stop telling her how pretty I think she is.
2. I asked her out that first night and got her phone number.
3. I wont stop calling her even though she has asked me to stop.
4. When I ask her out, she tells me that shes a lesbian and I respond by saying, Well see about that after youre with me.
5. I asked her to keep everything secret from the other girls.

So Lindsay hears this and decides not to join up with Damon and I for the rest of the night go figure.  The next day she tells me everything, but has already made up her mind that Im guilty.  All I can do is tell what really happened, but Caitlin happens to be Lindsays best friends best friend.  So according to Lindsay, shes very trustworthy uh huh.

Now Ive absorbed some gossip and found out two interesting things. 

1. Caitlin just finished breaking up another girl and her boyfriend and convincing the girl to go lesbo.
2. Lindsays best friend Katie (other lesbo and Caitlins best friend) met with her last week to tell her how Lindsays ex-boyfriend cheated on her when they were together.

So now I suddenly see a master sinister plot developing call me Columbo.  The lesbians are trying to make Lindsay think that all guys are asses and maybe she should just stick with girls.  Headline: Lesbians are are attempting to take over the world and they are starting in Fayetteville!

The storys bottom line?  I got cock-blocked by a girl.  As a result I think Im going to become a lesbian.