The Polish invasion.

Let there be darkness – we finally put a titanium tint on the skylights in the living room, now we can finally game without the glare!!! And if I ever have to do that again, I’m hiring someone. Because being 25’ in the air in a closed-in 3’x5’x4’ skylight recess with a large sheet of adhesive film stuck to your face, arms, back, and the walls is not fun.

But on to the main topic……

Due to an apparent case of empty nest syndrome for the past 9 years or so, my parents have been housing Polish interns visiting the US as part of their English and international business studies. I normally wouldn’t care, except that they almost always have women and this odd ability to get the HOTTEST Masters Degree students in Poland staying at their house through this program.

The past few groups they had were guys, and as of Thursday they received their new boarder. I have not met her yet but my father assures me she is easily 10x hotter than any they had in the past. So, Saturday they decided to have her over to visit, see our house and expose her to us, 2 people they call totally American. It was more so when I had the Mustang, but yeah, I guess we are the “everything to excess” types, a large loaded bar, gun toting fanatics of sorts, and a total disregard for the environment. But that’s not the point I’m getting at (come on Auto, stay on topic).

Saturday was a first for our marriage, I made something my wife refused to eat. Now I was trained as a chef, I went to school as one, worked as one. but thanks to a distraction *cough* Warcraft *cough* I screwed something up. I overcooked the rice. And by overcooked, I mean it turned into something close to rice pudding, but nowhere near as appetizing. But hey, I can fix this, just need to drain, dry, and season it…..so I got to work draining it, in went some secret spice mixtures……it didn’t help. It was still soupy but less like pudding, hmm…..maybe if I wash it and drain it….nope, maybe try to boil off some more of the water…..hmm little better…..but still, nope.

Several minutes later and I’m not quite sure what I had but I threw it into a bowl (after all, it did taste pretty good) and served it up…..my wife looked at it and started the sentence off with ”……now you know I love you…..” and I knew it was bad……so I made her a burger while I enjoyed my…..whatever it was (that I’m learning can be used as an industrial adhesive when chilled.)

Then the phone rang. My parents wanting to visit with the new superhot intern…..now I have a tendency to destroy the entire kitchen when I cook so this was nothing a 5min clean up could fix. Every pot and pan was covered in a thick paste like goo from the rice disaster, the house smelled like burning rice, sushi vinegar, and several of the more creative spice concoctions I used.

Um….I, uh…..now’s not a good time.

I was trying to be polite as I could since I could tell my mom was using the Bluetooth intercom in her car (thus already on her way to our house) so everyone there could hear me stumbling over my words. I’m sure I sounded like a total idiot, which honestly is nothing new for me.

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