Automan21k
Shared on Wed, 02/11/2009 - 09:09
Yes it is time for some mad ramblings from an insane gamer (that would be me).
I don’t know what it is about spring, but it really gets under my skin. I love the winter, I love snow, and while I know it is technically still winter thanks to the odd traditions of my fellow Pennsylvanians. Seeing the snow melt, combined with the full moon makes me a bit weird….no this isn’t me being superstitious, the full moon just happens to shine through the curtains at just the wrong angle that it shines across my face and I don’t get my REM sleep…or whatever it is that lets you actually rest and not fidget all night long.
But I am getting a little something else in the mix, panic? (because PA won’t be getting all the money Fast Eddie wants so he’s planning on laying off 1500) or stress? (since I’ve spent the past 2 weeks using my Bachelors degree in accounting and business management to remove staples from contracts) or am I slowly loosing my mind? (no big shocker there) It could be my inability to follow through with the plans that I make (I think big,… too big)
No this is another feeling…an ominous feeling…a fear that something big is going to happen….and that I won’t be involved…or maybe the fear is that I will be involved…but what ever this big thing is, it will change everything….I don’t think this is a prediction of doom….but who knows…..I sure don’t.
Maybe I just need a swift boot to the head….or to give one to someone else.
But I haven’t played online in a long time…it’s going on a month now….I just feel antisocial…it may be the timmys….it may be whatever the “it” is that’s assaulting the back of my mind…it may be my desire to start a new project that I will most likely never finish.
Oddly enough, my mind is also drifting to thoughts of my Grandfather. I talked about him a long time ago, but he was a huge influence on my life….even though he hardly had anything to give, he would give everything if he felt someone needed it. it was common for him to be holding down 3 jobs to keep his 7 kids clothed and fed…and to get them the occasional luxury. But, if someone came asking he always helped. We have a friend who is in need of help since she lost her husband, so it’s just her and her 3 month old daughter. I want to help, but since we have to assume that one of us will be losing our job to layoffs, we are trying to save up as much as we can to get by should the worst happen….but for her, the worst has already happened….
As for my gaming desires….I can’t seem to get into anything anymore…I want something new, something fresh….something unique….now there are a few XBLA games that fit that bill…but they keep me busy for, at most, a few hours….I need another Fallout, another Oblivion,….a new COD campaign. The only games that I am really eager for are the Godfather 2, Brutal Legend, Badlands, Red Faction; Guerilla, COD MW2, and Huxley(if it ever comes out)…that’s less than 1/4 of the number of games I was looking forward to last year….I’m thinking about “Eat Lead” but I’m thinking that will be a rental unless I can play a demo of it beforehand.
Is anyone else having this feeling?, that you can currently sum up your entire existence with one word……meh….that you could curl up under a rock and sleep for a year and it wouldn’t make a difference? Which is odd, because that feeling directly conflicts with my feeling like something big is about to happen….
Yup, I’m one giant conflicting question….with a receding hairline.
Auto out-
- Automan21k's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Submitted by TenaciousGinger on Wed, 02/11/2009 - 21:16
Submitted by TenaciousGinger on Wed, 02/11/2009 - 21:32
Submitted by Automan21k on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 09:21