Insanity is an 8'x8' cloth lined box

 

1.       In the current job market, employees volunteer to be fired; We have a great unemployment comp program so the masses of the office have started actually volunteering to be laid off should the situation arise.

2.       A photo titled “Welcome to Hell” becomes the front page of our office’s website;   I took the picture during a cloudy day and added a red tint to the building and a dark gray tint to the clouds and windows and cranked up the contract. It looks quite demonic and I titled it as such. The picture was found online and used on my office’s homepage.

3.       Overtime is ignored; I heard through several sources that overtime was offered to a u.n.i.o.n. section of our office where people normally fight to get the time +1/2 pay….there were no takers. ( though this may be a sign of the  apocalypse as well)

4.       Early retirements are turning into a mass exodus. People with over 20 years of service are bailing like rats from a sinking ship.

5.       People with a potential future are running away like the clusters of sheeple in any given disaster movie.   People are transferring to smaller offices (which are more likely to be hit by layoffs) sub divisions, and other places where people use to fight to get away to join this office.

6.       People get upset when maintenance fixes the broken lights. Like vampires exposed to the sun (or in this case, people with hangovers on a Tuesday) the lights burn our eyes, and claw at our brains, it is hard to tell the difference between the pain of working here and the light induced migraines, but they are both annoying as hell.

7.       The existence of upper management has become subject of rumor and speculation.  We don’t see them…..ever.  With exception to lower level managers telling us what upper management wants, like cult leaders expressing the wishes of the gods to their followers, the only proof we have that they are real is that we are told that they are (and the occasional ambiguous email from a resource account that tells us that one of the “uppers” is retiring or being promoted).

8.       The elevator has become a place of despair. 9 floors up in a little metal box in complete silence, everyone staring at the floor, looks of fear and despair covering their faces, the only thing breaking the silence this morning was a comment “maybe today will be the day they fire us” which was answered with the comment “if only we were that lucky”

9.       People have stopped trying; there are still a select few who think they can get ahead if they work hard, but the trends are well documented, work hard and they want you where you are. Screw up and they promote you to a place where you can’t do any damage.

10.   Everyone is out of leave; any chance we get we are taking vacation, sick leave, and personal days. People with children all have them mysteriously needing to go to Dr. appointments every week, or parent teacher conferences that are expected to take ALL DAY. people without kids have started inventing diseases that they need days off to get treatment.

 

Come on! I have a BS degree from Penn State (the only one in my entire section to have ANY degree) and yet I feel like that sickly hamster in the pet store that no one wants because they think it’s going to hang itself in hamster wheel to put itself out of its own misery.  But the real reason it is all messed up is because it’s going crazy from being thrown into a tiny cage with 50 other hamsters.

Yes, I am going crazy.

 

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