the attack of indifference

lately I just don't really care, dont' get me wrong, at work I'm extremly motivated, but anywhere else, I just feel .....Meh.....I feel separated from my family, it may have something to do with getting completly blown off so my parents can drive 4 hours to say hi to my sister, only to turn around and drive back. they go to visit her on a whim, almost every weekend....while if I want to sit down and talk to them I have to make an appointment.....don't get me wrong, I know where I stand in the "favorites" list....and honestly I don't care, yes she went to one of the big law schools, passed the bar, and actually practiced law for almost 6 months before she decided she didn't like being a lawyer and hasn't used her degree since.....and I like that they don't bug us ever 10 min to see how we are doing, or make sure we don't need a little help....after all, at 24 we were married, owned our home, I held very good jobs.....but we also stayed in the area....and why not, we like Harrisburg....but my big sister who left for DC, was calling my parents every hour with panic attacks and crisis she couldn't handle.....then moved from the big city to the middle of nowhere because she (get this) decided to use her law degree(still not paid off) to be a house wife......no kids....just her, sitting at home, and playing on the internet.....but in the end I really dont' care, I honeslty like not being bothered by my family every 10min...my wife and I have even considdered moving to another country to get ourselves into our own rhythem, where I won't have to worry about running into people who knew me from high school, where I can be the person I have become without fussing with the person I was(and without having my father constantly bring up my past failures at the least oppertune times).......but we like where we live, good weather, not many giant bugs, or diseases....good hospitals (I'm a bit clumsey)....and neither of us really feel like learning new accounting standards for a different country....learning the corporate tax code once is enough for this non-typical accountant.....

now where am I going with this? I'm not quite sure....but I feel oddly comfortable going on rants like this since there are only 6 people (including my wife) who can tie these posts to my birth name..... but this really has nothing to do with mothers day, my family never got into that or fathers day....then again, I never really got into christmas, easter or thanksgiving either.

Edit; I think I may be realizing why I'm ranting like this...every time my parents come back from talking with my sister, they take on this "it is our mission to ensure that our children have children of thier own" thing....I'm just gearing up for the arguement.....apparently "we aren't ready for kids", "we don't want kids" and "babies scare me"(not something I'm proud of but its the absolute truth) aren't valid reasons for not providing grandchildren with in 3 years of getting married....after all, why else would we get married if it wasn't to have kids? apparently the only valid excuse for not having 6-9 children (the average for my family) is biological....if that....after all I have a cousin who is nolonger invited to family functions,.....come to think of it, we havn't been invited to any family functions in over a year.....yup, message recieved....I guess we'll have more time to spend with my in-laws....tleast they don't mind us not having kids. edit

Thanks I feel better now...

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