Consequences Will Never Be The Same


Shared on Sat, 11/13/2010 - 14:39

I got chided by my wife recently for having a little outburst toward the kids.  They had been whining, crying and flat-out refusing to do what they were told for a couple of days and I'd had enough.  I told them that I was tired of the whining and that the refusals were going to end or consequences would never be the same.

She complained that I shouldn't  do things like that and that I didn't offer incentives, etc, and that it's not good for them to see me angry with them like that.  And maybe she's right, maybe there was a better way to handle things.  It's not like I do that sort of thing with any regularity, but then they normally don't run around like a pack of hungry, retarded badgers all the time, either.

Anyway, for all the talk about not letting your kids see you angry, I'm fairly certain that being able to tell when my dad was pissed off saved my life on more than one occasion.  Sitting in time out on the stairs is nothing compared to being asked to go out back and select a stick of appropriate width and flexibility.


VenomRudman's picture
Submitted by VenomRudman on Tue, 11/16/2010 - 15:53
Occasional anger is fine. However, open-ended threats without follow thru are worse than useless, they are detrimental. Threaten them with something reasonable: "next time you do X, no xbox for a week!" and then FOLLOW THRU! The tough part is to get your wife on board, you have to be a united front.
ChubENukkels's picture
Submitted by ChubENukkels on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:57
What does "Society" do when you eff up in real life ... they send armed police to stop you and if you do NOT cooperate they escalate to SWAT and take the headshot. If you DO cooperate and they find you effd up bad enough they lock you up ... maybe to wait for the execution chamber! ALL THAT is worse than a few slaps on the butt which will 99% keep the other eff ups - and dire consequences - from happening.
H2Daddy's picture
Submitted by H2Daddy on Sat, 11/13/2010 - 16:33
Sorry. I have to disagree with your wife on this one. I teach high school and I see the results of kids that have been "talked" to instead of getting their ass busted.
Habu06's picture
Submitted by Habu06 on Sat, 11/13/2010 - 16:40
They need to see the Angry Fire God once in a while. Not for every minor infraction, but just once in a while and when they really screw up, they need to know there are consequences. And, if you are going to have consequences, be ready willing and able to follow through. They need an Incentive? the incentive is not to piss off the Angry Fire God. That's the incentive!
TKBosss's picture
Submitted by TKBosss on Sat, 11/13/2010 - 18:04
I agree with the others. For the kids to know how "great and reasonable" a dad you are, they have to see the anger occasionally. Then the kids know they would rather talk and obey the good dad than experience the rath of the bad dad. Even if "bad" dad comes out. Don't act rashly and talk calmly with your kids after going off on them. I have two rabid "badgers" also, so I know.
TANK's picture
Submitted by TANK on Sat, 11/13/2010 - 20:58
ah i call bullshit. All this lovey dovey don't spank or raise your voice to your kids hippy philosophy is hogwash. Let me tell you, we have a full gown kid now who was all kinds of incentivized and now he's grown and in and out of jails because his as was never disciplined like he should have been while he was a kid. Let your wife by the kind nurturing one , your job is to put the fear of god into them.
Arkhamguest's picture
Submitted by Arkhamguest on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 00:53
When I was growing up I remember my mom would freak out at the littlest thing. Whether you left a sock on the floor or shot the cat it was the same reaction, it didn't take long before all us kids could just tune her out and her tantrums meant nothing. However, my Dad in contrast was almost always a very mellow man that would rarely raise his voice. But when he did, when you did something to get his ire up it was as if Zeus atop Mount Olympus parted the clouds and shot a lightening bolt right up your ass. When he got sturn was when we would stop whatever jack-assery we had been up to and took notice. So, long story short (to late) when done correctly the outburst like the one you had can actually do good in raising your kids. Just look at me, I turned out ok. So maybe not the best example.
RyanFromVegas's picture
Submitted by RyanFromVegas on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 11:12
+1 to the above. Its moms job to be nurturing..dads job to be hard. The real world isnt kind and gentle and doesnt dole out time kicks your be dropped into that world wholey unschooled is doing your kid a gross injustice.
CiaranORian's picture
Submitted by CiaranORian on Mon, 11/15/2010 - 08:35
You have to get angry sometimes. My lad knows its time to stop acting the maggot when I lose it. I think you're doing your kids a disservice by not showing them who's boss and teaching them right from wrong.

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