The Most Annoying Gamers

 

We’re all familiar with “Timmies” and how annoying they can be. Some may wonder why I don’t have Timmy higher on the list. The truth is, a single Timmy isn’t that bad to deal with. They are kind of like that single gnat at a family picnic that continuously buzzes around your head. You would rather it went away, but it’s not going to ruin your fun. A single Timmy will often leave your party and go elsewhere if you ignore his ignorant and nonsensical comments. If you feel you must return any smack talk, chances are a lone Timmy will retort with something not very original (such as “F--- you!”) and quickly leave the party so he doesn’t have to hear what’s coming next. Unfortunately, Timmies seldom travel through the gaming world alone. They need their buddies by their sides to egg them on and laugh at their not-so-funny remarks. Unlike a lone Timmy, a group of Timmies will often be encouraged if their targets return the insults. It’s best to just ignore the Timmies altogether. Eventually, they’ll get bored and move on to another group. 

 

Even though I don’t do it much myself, I understand that trash talking is part of the game. It can fire up a team, give someone a psychological edge, or it can serve to provide some humor during a round of intense battle. However, the Sneaky Trash Talker doesn’t have a purpose. Basically, they are just mean-spirited individuals that try and boost their self-esteem by putting down others. Usually, the Sneaky Trash Talker will be a member of a group that plays regularly together. The Sneaky Trash Talker is probably well liked by the group and they may not even be aware of his despicable habit. A Sneaky Trash Talker will generally focus on an individual that is either not known to the group or doesn’t play with the group on a regular basis. The individual that is to become the object of the Sneaky Trash Talker’s attention will probably be more on the quiet side. They pick someone quiet because the last thing they want is for their target to strike back or bring what was said to the attention of the group. When the round starts, the Sneaky Trash Talker will seek out the intended target, kill him, and the make snide comments such as, “You really suck,” and “Maybe you should play something else” (I never said they were real creative). The Sneaky Trash Talker only says these things when he’s pretty sure no one (other then his victim) can hear him. Then, if the victim brings it up, the Sneaky Trash Talker vehemently denies any wrongdoing. The victim is ostracized and usually ends up leaving to game it up elsewhere.

 

Communication is an important part of any online game. My biggest gaming weakness (of many) is a lack of communication. I usually just listen to what’s going on and go along for the ride. As important as communication is, too much communication can be just as harmful as no communication. The General fancies himself a leader and an expert in communicating to other party members. Unfortunately for The General, he has a very unrealistic view of himself. The General sucks as a player and is even worse as a leader. Communication from The General goes something like this:

 

The General: “We really need to get the rocket launcher. Is anybody going for the rocket launcher? Somebody needs to go get it. Screw it! I’ll go get the rocket launcher. I’m almost to the rocket launcher. While I get the rocket launcher the rest of you should…”

 

At this point, The General is cut off as he meets his well-deserved demise. If he would have shut up for two seconds he would have heard his teammates tell him that the enemy was camping the rocket launcher spawn, in force, and leaving their base vulnerable. Instead, The General ran right into their ambush and quickly died. Of course, The General has no sense of accountability and blames everyone else for what happened:

 

The General: “Damn it! You guys suck! You don’t listen! If you would just listen we could win this! This time, two of you should…”

 

The General is cut off again because during his rant an enemy opponent snuck up behind him and cracked him in the back of the skull. The General then begins yelling obscenities at his teammates and de-evolves into a Timmy (see above). However, it doesn’t matter because his teammates have, by this point, unplugged their headsets.

 

Unlike the other types of players, a Whiner is usually pretty good at whatever game they are playing. In fact, they are so good they just can’t accept the fact that once in awhile you die just like everyone else. Instead, the Whiner will come up with every excuse in the book to explain why they died. Examples include:

“I had lag”

“It was a bad re-spawn location”

“There’s something wrong with my controller”

“That guy must be using a mod”

“I let you do that”

“I’m not used to this game type”

“That’s just bulls—t”

 

The Whiner will continue to make excuses until he gets so frustrated he just quits. Then, he’ll have excuses as to why he quit, none of which have anything to do with the fact that he quit because he was getting his ass handed to him. These include:

“I had to make a phone call”

“My game disc was dirty and I had to clean it”

“I got bored”

“My burrito was done”

“I didn’t quit…the game booted me”

 

The Whiner could have 20 kills and 2 deaths, but he still wouldn’t be satisfied. He’d still try to rationalize why he died those two times. I have some advice for the Whiner they next time someone gets the drop on him: quit making excuses accept the fact you got pwned and just enjoy the game!

 

To me, this is the most annoying, pathetic, nerve grating gamer there is. As the name suggests, the Attention Getter has to be in the middle of everything; every conversation, every joke, and every conflict. The Attention Getter’s self esteem is so low they try way to hard to be noticed by everybody. A typical Attention Getter will jump into a party and will immediately take over the conversation even if they have no knowledge of the topic being discussed. If the Attention Getter is ignored, they will normally leave the room, join another group, and then talk bad about the group they just left. They feel their opinion matters most and that they should be part of any decision making, no matter the forum. The Attention Getter is a master ass kisser and will suck up to party leaders and forum leaders to curry their favor. Once this is accomplished, the Attention Getter will fancy themselves one of the leaders. The Attention Getter will claim to be best friends with the most popular people, even if they’ve only spoken or gamed with them on rare occasions. Attention Getters also brag heavily about themselves over the smallest of accomplishments. Here is a comment I once heard an Attention Getter make after a game of capture the flag:

“My awesome double kill with the rocket launcher probably won us the game!”

 

As we all know, this is quite an accomplishment since it’s sooooo hard to get a double kill with a rocket launcher (sarcasm). Probably the most annoying thing about the Attention Getter is their complete lack of accountability when it comes to conflict. Like a small child, the Attention Getter will take negative attention just as quickly as positive attention. This leads to the Attention Getter bumping heads with others pretty often. However, the Attention Getter never admits fault and always blames the other party. The Attention Getter will try to generate sympathy for themselves and play the victim card to anyone who will listen. If the Attention Getter catches wind of someone siding with the other party, they will contact them and try to sway them to their side. To all Attention Getters out there: If you are having a conflict with someone every week…IT’S YOU, NOT THEM!