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FreeRadikal

Shared on Fri, 03/16/2012 - 10:20

No Comments Necessary, just unabashed wonder, awe and blinding realization.

Yeah I know you stare into the brilliance of my mind like Icarus blazing his eyes’ out in the sun, the only that’s left is cauterized eye holes.  It’s like peering into the mind of madman; you need your daily dose of crazy to remain here.  A frog can’t think like a horse, even if he rides his back, eats his food and engages in staring contests.  A frog can’t have horse children, a frog can’t raise horse children, a frog can drive car but he can’t get a license.
 
I forged Mount Rushmore out of cotton candy; they make it in all kinds of colors

FreeRadikal

Shared on Thu, 03/15/2012 - 11:37

If the world is going to end, I just hope the weather is pleasant.

An exercise in futility would be holding up a cardboard box with a cheap empty clear orange plastic water pistol that costs fifty cents at the dollar store.  You know the box ain’t gonna give it up cause it’s so damn stubborn.
 
I’m color blind and that’s why I wear the McLaren Tartan with an orange turtle neck, sandals and sea foam green socks.  It’s a philosophy not a handicap.
 
What if Jackie Magic Socks (don’t worry he’s a cool cat) was responsible for the pinch at the pumps?  So when you fill up your ride, he sneaks

FreeRadikal

Shared on Wed, 03/14/2012 - 16:26

Not a moment goes by I don't wish I was a chocolate sundae.

Carrots...I love carrots.  I will only eat baby carrots be they only made from adult carrots but I guess that goes without saying.

FreeRadikal

Shared on Tue, 03/13/2012 - 14:17

A Jiggler Jeep Wrangler – Cherry of Course

Mark my word Nugatory Nancy I have fallen from the heavens to bring my wrath against honey BBQ Frito twists.  Their power decimated my home world of Nike Four; their tasty power that is.  Imagine a whole world of giant jelly fish shoving tentacle full after tentacle full of BBQ twists into their giant gaping maws.    Imagine millions of giant jelly fish children unable to slither to school instead having to be rolled there by the Neutron White Ape slaves of Xanthium Five.  I will tell you one thing those Apes don’t like is rolling things: children, cigars, barre

FreeRadikal

Shared on Mon, 03/12/2012 - 10:11

Nuclear Fission is the only way to catch trophy bass.

When I am the last one in the building at work, I often go into the women’s restroom.  I don’t go in there to do anything nefarious, I just go in to dance.  I don’t play any music I just go all Billy Elliot, jumping off the toilets and swinging on the stall doors; maybe even a few cartwheels.
 
I often pretend that everyone behind me is chasing me whether they are walking, or on bikes, or in cars.  I think that’s why I speed or drive though parking lots or through people’s backyards.  It just keeps life fresh.
 
 

FreeRadikal

Shared on Fri, 03/09/2012 - 10:28

Make Everything Possible…start with your face!

Frozen Banana Popsicle covered in Buffalo not meat just fur.  Can you just feel the soft furriness and a slight banana flavor with a hint of lime?
 
A Chu-marry is tomato juice, fish blood, grain alcohol.
 
Nothing ruins a good boggle game like the word holocaust.
 
One thing you must jump into with both feet is wet concrete.
 
Find it necessary to remind everyone around you that you’ve named your colon: a barrel full of monkeys because that’s what it sounds like after you eat spicy

FreeRadikal

Shared on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 08:24

Aren’t balls funny in any shape, way or form?

‘Moonbeams for Star Shoes’ is a charity for tap dancers with chronic in-grown toenails due to OCD nail biting caused by displaced anger from over aggressive parents who pushed them in soccer pre K-12.
 
Husky gentlemen is what I call sled dogs.
 
The fornicating hurricane is what I call a perfect storm of alcohol and fruit juice.
 
What is the largest word you’ve used to describe something really small?
 
What do all these words have in common?  It’s what I have asked myself my entir

FreeRadikal

Shared on Wed, 03/07/2012 - 15:47

The Beefalo Magnet leaves everything to be desired.

The numbing meson plus of my reality is laid out in front of me from math to physics from Jell-O to Diet Pepsi from Kazakhstan to Delaware from Chi Chi Rodriguez to Buddha from Pink to Seagull Salad. Why not eat a bear? Why not eat deep fried Manwich wrapped in a day old banana peel? How do you know when a horse needs to floss? What is horse breath? Well partner its sweet alfalfa, corn and apples.

 

FreeRadikal

Shared on Wed, 03/07/2012 - 12:15

I balance work and home with booze and shotguns!

HERE IS THE FULL STORY IF YOU MISSED ANY PART: Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white and everywhere that Mary the lamb was sure to go. She was off on her way to school one day and her lamb followed her, she got half was across the farm yard when Farmer Brown stepped out from the stable. “Yah can’t take that lamb to school little Missy, your Father told me you can keep it here but a school is no place for a lamb. It’s just plain distracting for the other children.” said Brown.

FreeRadikal

Shared on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 09:43

NOT WORKING :(

I'm having trouble posting and/or editing what I have posted be sure that I am sure that it will happen someday...in the meantime if you want some continuity and not utter chaos just read my blog here: http://theabstractchronicle.blogspot.com/

 

Stand back while I continue to murder my posting wheeeee!!!!

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