Violence in Video Games

 The shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary was a terrible American tragedy which has divided the country over the topic of gun control and our Second Amendment rights. I don't usually get political on 2O2P, but some folks out there are pointing their fingers at video games and I just can't let that slide. NRA Spokesman, Wayne LaPierre, told us a few weeks ago that the answer is "more guns" and that the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. The President has signed 23 executive orders related to gun violence and wants to ban assault weapons,  require more comprehensive background checks for firearm sales, and to limit magazine capacities.

 Now that we are blaming video games for mass murder, I have a few suggestions that could quite possibly bring our country back from the brink of destruction. First, and most obvious, we need more violent video games. We need to get these games into our schools and make sure that every teacher in America is properly trained in the use of the latest combat shooters. Next we have to realize that the only thing that can stop a bad gamer is a good gamer. We need to lift the age-restrictions on violent games so our children don't feel oppressed and murdery, perhaps do away with ID restrictions on mature games, but only at game conventions or trade shows. We could then restrict game carrying cd cases to a six game capacity, forcing the bad gamer to carry more cases.

 They may take our lives, but they will never take our games! It's one of our Constitutional Amendments, probably in the middle or something. The gamers of America will rise up and pelt our oppressors with Cheetos, Red Bull and Mountain Dew. We will not go quietly into the night and we will not be tricked by your cake of misinformation. Gamers have infiltrated the CIA Building in Langley, defeated wave after wave of Nazi zombies, become Big Daddies, survived The Flood, chainsawed hookers in the streets of Vice City, and pulled Johnny Cage's fucking head right off of his body...we are more than a match for a handful of dimwitted politicians. For all the folks trying to blame games for the deaths of children...would you kindly go fuck yourselves.