Toilet Paper

I found out today that the toilet paper in the office is way better than the paper provided in the warehouse bathroom. The office paper is very soft...like a cherub kissing your butt. The paper in the warehouse is more like shit-proof sandpaper. Management probably assumed that the river of blood pouring from my ass will have the desired cleansing effect one usually expects from toilet paper. It also removes metal burrs and smooths wood surfaces.