Today We Honor the Working Class Hero

Video games tend to focus on professional badasses, soldiers, ninjas, and cops who save the day because it’s their job. However, every once in awhile a developer will create a game that pulls a protagonist from the working class and make a hero out of him. Here are my unlikely Labor Day hero picks.

Mario

Mario is a simple Italian plumber, forced to save a princess by kicking the local wildlife, eating shrooms, storming castles, and defeating a dragon named after a member of Sha Na Na. Thankfully, most of his games are sidescrollers so we don’t have to see his plumber’s crack. Go ahead and crack open a cold one, Mario, and buy a belt.

The Dishwasher

Brought back to life by a co-worker using an infusion of alien blood, The Dishwasher chews through baddies with meat cleavers, a katana, and shotgun/uzi. Minimum wage has never been this violent, or fun. Enjoy your day off.

Lee Everett

Lee Everett was a history professor in Atlanta, and worked at his parents’ drug store in Macon, before he killed a guy and was sent to prison. Although his debt to society went unpaid, he kept his promise to Clementine, made some tough decisions, and put a mountain of walkers out of their misery. Consider that debt paid, Lee...it’s Labor Day.

Isaac Clarke

Isaac is an engineer, not a hero. He took an assignment to weld air ducts and clean porn off of the Ishimura’s computers so he could spend a little QT with his girlfriend. Now he welds Necromorphs...to death. We’ll save you a hot dog, Isaac.

Gordon Freeman

Black Mesa scientist, and Hugh Laurie lookalike, Gordon Freeman, led a relatively uninteresting life...until he opened the door to another dimension and kick-started an alien invasion. He doesn’t say much, but he’s pretty fucking handy with a crowbar. He’s our designated driver for the weekend.