That little girl makes my heart melt.
So last night I had one of those fatherhood moments that reduce a tough guy to a little pool of drively mush. I don't know if I can convey this properly or even if a non-parent could really grasp it. So here we go, it was really a simple occurrence but somehow it just really hit me. It was about 8:40pm and my daughter Ella was just exhausted, she was totally done and wanted to let everyone know. Church stuff went a bit late Wednesday night and since she is usually in bed by 7:00pm by 8:00pm she was not happy about being awake. If I tried to set her down, she would freak out. If someone got close to her that she didn't know she would scream. This is not a common thing for my gregarious little girl.
So I finally make it out the door of the church with my crankopotomus of a child and get her strapped into her car-seat. She is not happy about going in the chair and she vocally expresses that as a high pitch scream as I buckle her into her recliner of a seat. I crank up the car, flip on the radio, and she cools out a little as I am driving. Five minutes down the road through my music (In the Valley of the dying sun by House of Heroes) I hear a distinct and different sound. It was a soft and quiet melody as I turn down my car radio I hear Ella singing herself to sleep. She is too tired to hold up her head so it is leaned all the way over onto her left shoulder and her eyes are fixed on my rearview mirror that I have adjusted to check on her. As I look into the mirror her eyes are already waiting for mine to find hers. When our eyes meet this small sincere beautiful smile grows across her face and to me it just screams “I love you Daddy.” Her perfect blue eyes stay fixed upon mine and her song doesn't change but softly continues the whole ride home. It just made me melt.
There is no question being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done, but there is no doubt that through parenting you learn to love so much deeper than ever before in your life.