Rules to aggressive driving

Ok, so after seeing yet another idiot stopping in the middle of a highway split to "figure out" which direction they should be going, it hit me... aggressive drivers MUST be safer then stupid drivers.

Yes, I'm an aggressive driver, but I'm a courteous aggressive driver. Huh?

What I've found are that slow drivers rarely pay attention to the roads and the roads rules.  Yet, how is it that us aggressive driving folk tend to get pulled over more? Because the rules are backwards, the driving laws should state that you must be fully cognisant and mentally sober before getting behind the wheel of a moving vehicle.  Those that ironically are "paying attention" to the road miss stop signs, red lights, yield at green lights, stop at yields, are unable to merge into traffic, stop at onramps, use blinkers on sharp turns, and more. Its rediculous. An aggressive driver, more often then not, pays closer attention to the roads because they're moving at a higher rate of speed. Those that are aggressive but pay less attention are usually nabbed up by Darwin.

Rules to aggressive driving:

1. Be a polite aggressive driver.  If you must switch lanes fast, or pass on the right you should make sure you have at least one and a half car lengths before doing so.  Your going at least two times faster then the rest of the traffic so you want to leave room for error. The only exception is when the car in the other lane goes purposely faster to block you. These people deserve to be cut off. Also watch for the inside/outside lane cars - if they switch to the middle lane as you are doing it can get messy.

2. You should always use your blinker when cutting in front of traffic, at least hit the blinker before you make the turn thus giving the person behind you slight preparation (but not enough to try to block you).

3. If you jump lanes on the highway and screw up (get stuck behind an even slower driver) you DO NOT have the right to cut a person off to get back in your original lane. You screwed up, deal with it. Learn from it.

4. When you encounter another aggressive driver do the typical handshake to see who is faster (or more brave). Let them pass, if they don't pass and maintain speed it is because they're using YOU as their runner. They want to go fast, but given the fact that they see you doing the same the want you go be the lead. If you have the radar detector the chances are higher for this behavior.

5. When you encounter another aggressive driver that is faster or more aggressive then you, let them pass.  Watch them, learn from it. And try to keep up.

6. Not all old people are slow. Do not feel you must beat an aggressive driver that is well beyond your years. An 80 year old aggressive driver is a rare sight, but give them the right of way. Think of it like a senior citizen pass - they've earned it.

7. When people honk at you are try to yell at you for being aggressive just laugh, or wave at them. Do not insult them with the finger or curses - they are below you in rank and do not deserve the added attention or creative cursing.  Save that for your real enemies.

8. Always pay attention to the entire road, and look back when you pass an on-ramp. You do not want to be caught by a cop coming on the highway. That would just be embarrasing. Besides keeping an eye out for cops, you should be keeping track of where all the cars are positioned on the road. You never know when you're going to need to change lanes fast. Knowing roughly where cars are means only a quick look before hoping lanes. You don't want to spend too much time looking away when going fast.

9. Cops are the enemy. Identify local authorities driving odd vehicles like Mustangs, Crown Vic's, and other american made cars.  They will be driving american, probably have plates from your state, and may or may not have small lights in the rear. Also spot any odd antenea that might be situated on the trunk or roof. If you're not sure, speed up to meet them equally and take a glance. Look like a cop? Not sure? Get behind them and see if another aggressive driver passes them.  If they get away with it then so will you.

10. Break road rules, but only to a point. Passing in the slow lane is cool, changing lanes is good if your not directly cutting off traffic, but don't pass in the breakdown lane or try any high challenge "dukes of hazzard style" tricks. Drive like everyone else, just do it a bit faster.

11. Sports cars are usually driven by aggressive people, but remember that other cars can wield an aggressive driver. I've seen vans, caravans, trucks, SUV's, and even flat beds that drive aggressively. They've got other obsticles to deal with (such as tipping) so give them plenty of room.

12. NO CELL PHONES. If you must take a call, move back to 65Mph and drive like the rest of the lemmings.

13. Do not get distracted in your vehicle. I suggest staying under 80MPH if you plan on drinking coffee on the highway. Don't screw with the radio, and don't try to dresss yourself. EYES ON THE ROAD SAM!

14. Don't think about anything but driving. You should be thinking "if I pass this guy, jump to the next lane, and come back will I pull it off given car B is moving at roughly the same speed as car A?" Not thinking about work, kids, or what your going to eat for supper. That is a no no if you want to be a good aggressive driver (one that pays attention). Car A and car B are probably thinking about something other then driving on their mundane drive to work.

15. Its not about being late.  Aggressive driving is a lifestyle. Others may be all like "well if they left earlier for work or their appointment" - NO - Absolutely not. We drive like this just as you drive like a granny. So shut the hell up.

There are also times when your driving should be trumped by other vehicles. Do not attempt any tricks on 18-wheelers because they're heavy, they cannot stop fast, and they can crush you. If your car has some balls you can try to merge in front of them but remember... cars with balls can be crushed too.

There you go, a few tips to aggressive driving. Let me leave you with this tought...

An aggressive driver may cause a high speed accident, but a stupid driver can easily cause a 10 car pileup. Which is worse?

CodeMonkey