Personal Lubricant Fail
Anyone have any ideas on how to get multiple lube stains out of a microfibre couch??
I just had my couch completely cleaned on Friday. It was looking great, all stains from the kids were gone. Then on Sunday during a late night love making session with my wife things got a little out of hand. I don't know what I was thinking but I must have went ballistic on the lube because this morning the couch looked seriously messed up. I hope I can get the lube stains out cause quite frankly explaining the stains to people who come over may be a little embarrasing.
Moral of the story, lube is no joke. Use it sparingly.
Comments (31)
hmmm.... I am assuming water based lubricant? Was it coloured or did it have flavourings. Cause if so: I imagine that hte dyes/flavourings may cause staining.\r
\r
What happens if you get your couch wet with water? Does it stain or cause markings? Cause if not, I would try water and blotting first. \r
\r
Water based lube = water dissolvable = use water to get out stain.\r
AWESOME blog title!\r
\r
My advice for next time..... Use spit, the original water based lubricant.\r
\r
Second of all, I think your wife may disagree with the idea of using lubricant sparingly.\r
\r
Thanks for making my day. =)
what were you lubing up? sheesh. don't tell me... only so many things one can lube up in that general area. TMI. if it is a microfiber couch, you a pretty much screwed...oh wait. that is how you GOT in this situation. bottom line... (WAY too many puns in this situation) not getting that out.... only option is TANK's. flip the cushions.
I usually use spit but I decided to step it up and try something a little classier.....Lube. Flipping the cushions is not an option as the lube dripped down the front of the cushion. Flipping it would expose the zipper. \r
\r
I tried washing them in the washing machine today and it looks a little better. Still, the memories are visible.
I'm all jacked up and ready to take a run at your couch.
Ask your mom what she uses
On a serious note, Swiss Navy lubes are the shit. The ol' lady and I use that stuff. \r
\r
A little more serious note, Spot Shot carpet/upholstery cleaner is the BOMB!\r
\r
On a joking note, you have 2 kids, tell company that the kids spilled milk or something. They wont think a thing about it.
Ewww.... spit... \r
\r
okay... can we have the \"spit as lube debate?\" What exactly are you guys talking about? Oral sex = Happy Lady. But I know if my man stops to go on to other things... well.... that ain't happenin...\r
\r
But I saw porn once where the guy actually spit up the woman's hooha. I almost barfed. \r
\r
So... when you guys say \"spit\" do you mean saliva, or the act of actually spitting?
Yes, J-Cat. Actual human spit. It's cheap and works in a pinch.\r
\r
With that bring said, yeah, if it's water-based, just some water should thin it out and get rid of it. Silicon-based? You may have to call the lubricant's manufacturer to see what they recommend.\r
\r
I'd HATE to be the person answering calls on that hotline.
J-Cat\r
\r
Speaking for myself, I mean saliva, (not a lung cookie) either directly applied by mouth or by fingers to the target area of interest. I think it would be a mood killer for the wife if I just hocked one into her from arms length.\r
\r
I think a more interesting (read disturbing) discussion would be about kissing significant others after oral sex, I'm betting more women are OK with it than men, but that the number is still low.\r
\r
This is now the second time this blog has made me laugh out loud.
Dixon\r
\r
I'd LOVE to be the one taking those calls. Can you imagine the stories you would hear? It would be stuff like this all the time. I'd spend the whole damn day laughing. (of course I also think working in a sex shop WITHOUT VIEWING ROOMS would be fun too)\r
\r
Watching/dealing with people in those situations would be too funny.
AAAAAANNNNNAAAAALLLLLL.... \r
\r
Admit it Bunny...she was giving you the 10\" prostate massage huh?\r
\r
\r
Sometimes there just isn't enough time to get the \"works\" going on the missus and sometimes she just wants to get down to business also. In those cases a little surreptitious saliva swipe is all you need. \r
\r
P.S. Next time go leather. Everything comes out of leather.
I have been a huge fan of using spit as lube since I was about 16. I have never once seen a women object to me gobbing on my cock before thrusting it in. Any lube is better than no lube.